Last Friday I didn't get around to the Friday Fives last week and when I visited the site today to do them they had none. So I picked the Friday Fives from September 28, 2001 (old school, huh?) and did those. No reason... just for the fuck of it. Here we go...
1. Laying on your back and facing the ceiling, which side of the bed do you sleep on?
Well, to tell you the truth, I toss and turn all night due to my bad back. Mostly I sleep on my side to avoid the pain. But when the pain gets bad, I usually sleep facing the ceiling.
2. Do you have to have covers (blankets and/or sheets) at all costs, no matter the weather?
YES! I cannot sleep if I don't have covers on. But if I used to sleep with a fan on or my A/C at at least 65 degrees. Felicia can't stand cold weather so now I have to sleep with no covers if no fan or A/C is on.
3. Sleep nekkid or no? Why?
Pretty much the same as above... rarely or after sex (lol) usually boxers or pajamas though. Depends on the temperature.
4. What's under your bed?
LOL! I don't know and for our own sanity I think it's better that way...!
5. If you have pets, do you let them sleep with you? Why or why not?
No, none currently. When I had them I did because I got attached to them. But check out Fabianna's story coming up next.
I don't know why I started with the Friday Five today but oh well. On to my post.
We're having shitloads of financial problems. Mostly due because I'm irresponsible with the money, I don't know how to prioritize my life or manage my expenses. Not to mention that living on GCS's payrate alone is goddamned near impossible. I am in the process of looking into more companies for a part time job. I finally submitted a letter of permission to Cliff, the owner of GCS, to see if I can work for LLE LiNK part time. I had to submit a letter of permission because LLE is our secondary translation service provided, AT&T's Language Line is our primary provided, and if I have to make sure that me working for GCS and LLE simultaneously doesn't create a conflict of interest a conflict of interest. Which, since I am just a mere pawn for both companies, I don't see how it would since I won't be in charge of making any purchasing or corporate decisions for either one. Anyway, I gave to him last week and I've heard nothing back.
Friday night I went out with a bunch of friends, Serg and my mom to the Wild Wing Cafe. We got really plastered and had shitloads of fun. The best part was this band called McFly playing that kicked fucking ass. There's a pic of them at the bottom. They cover all these cool, funcky 80's songs and have a sweet act to follow them with. They are funny and they can really play.
Anyway, at the end my and Serg got into this huge and out of hand argument about ethnicity and race. Him and my mom consider themselves white (because of the color of their skin, not their ethnic background), I know this is a common, and erroneous belief amongst Hispanics/ Latins who don't want to see themselves as what they truly are... a breed of Indian and European. Now, let's get this straight, there are such thing as white, black and Asian Mexicans or Hispanics. Those whom are of direct white, black or Asian blood. For example in Argentina they have a lot of full blooded Germans whose ancestors belonged to the Third Reich and fled to this country as refugees, who only know themselves are Argentinean. But Argentinean is a nationality, not an ethnic group. Even though, by demographic definition they are Hispanic, by true definition they are White (or Anglo or Caucasian or whatever you wanna call them). Same with Japanese in Peru and Portuguese/Black in Brazil and other countries near the Caribbean. But we, me and my family, and most Mexicans are not of direct Spanish/European blood or direct Indian (Aztec) blood. We are a mixed breed, deluded over the centuries, of Indian (Aztec or whatever other pre-Colombian tribe we belong to) and White (Spanish), we are considered (loosely) as Mestizo. Through the centuries, Mexico has become as much a melting pot as the USA with Europeans and Americans mostly but you can see many other cultures intertwined and embedded in ours. That does not make them Hispanic unless they have offspring with a Mexican. Well my brother and my mom and a lot of others believe that they are white because of the color of their skin. They are very lightskinned, blond and tall... they believe they are of the same ethnic background as those of AngloSaxon or Caucasian descent. This was the entire argument last night. My brother said that because Wells Fargo forms (where he works) now include a new ethnic group called "Hispanic/ White" as opposed to the norm in the past that specifically says "Hispanic/ Not white or black" for all those either misguided or "malinchistas". I know they are proud of being Mexican but I also know deep inside, to them the only thing that means a non-white is black. And I also know they would absolutely undoubtedly hate to be considered black. To them there is not grey area, the whole world is either black or white... and they live in the white world. That is just plain sad. It's starting to piss me off again so I will stop.
Ok, on to the baby's story. Fabianna is our first born and she is as spoiled, or more, as you can imagine. Our biggest problem is that we've allowed her to sleep in our bed up until now... she's a little over one now. Last night, because Larissa (or Phoebe, another name we came up with, LOL) is due next month we need for Fabianna to begin sleeping in her room. Last night, at the advise of everybody and their grandmothers we left her alone in her crib no matter how much she cried throughout the night. As you can imagine, she started wailing as soon as we left the room. Me and Felicia went to the room and we could hear her for hours crying and crying inconsolably. At one point she stopped crying and was trying to talk between sobs... that's when my heart sunk to a level it had never done before and I started crying. But I knew I had to let her... Felicia began crying too... She kept on trying to talk, sobbing and crying for the next while. Then silence... for a long time... I think it had been a good 15-20 minutes before we decided to look. We did and we noticed she was still up and just looking at the door with the saddest, which I have not been able to get out of my head since, expression in her little, tear soaked face. Fuck, I was soooo depressed. (shit, I am choking thinking about it now). She fortunately didn't see us so we went back in the room. She was mostly quiet from then on... every now and then she would let out a cry or two... Eventually, I dozed off in a pool of fucking tears near my pillow... Felicia stayed up a little longer, she told me she went and saw her again at one point and saw that the baby had fallen asleep sitting up resting her head all crooked and uncomfortable on the crib bars. She sad she started crying again and felt really sad. She came back to bed and we let her stay. This morning we found her sleeping face down. Later that morning Felicia went back and she was sitting up... we don't know how long she had been sitting up but she was not crying... she was just staring at the door with the same sad expression she had the night before... We have to do it again tonight... I don't think I can... This sucks... I don't want her to be spoiled but I don't want her to be afraid and alone like that... I hate this shit sooo much... Felicia hates it too... we don't know what to do... help....
I can't type anymore... I have to go see my baby now... bye...
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