Yesterday, for the fourth night in a row, the baby refuses to go to sleep. I woke up today earlier than usual cuz Felicia didn't mail the letter yesterday and she wanted to mail it early this morning and run some other errands. So she left me alone with the Bean and she woke up by like 9 or so... So all in all, I got about 4 hours of sleep. At work I felt physically exhausted, I had a headache and felt lightheaded. Fortunately, they had me doing Triage for most of the day so I was able to shake it off by around 4 pm when I went home and got a couple of Aleve. So, now I feel fine and I have not plans for Friday. I might just go home and chill there and go to sleep early... (yeah right! Unless Fabianna has anything to cry about it.

The alleged tailgate party at work was just a bunch of food and no party. I am not complaining though... they brought Wolfman's Pizza (They are the freaking best!!!!), drinks, chips, Chick-Fil-A nuggets and a bunch of other goodies. I banked with the food and the drinks... LOL!

So, I heard in the news today that Disney sold Pixar. I don't understand why they would do something like that. Since they acquired Pixar they have creates some of the best movies ever. For example Toy Store (you don't get much better than that), A bug's life, Monsters Inc. and the gay little fish Nemo. That's like having a rich uncle that gives you money for no reason and you abandon him to pursue your drunk uncle's quest to establish a tittie bar. LOL. ok... bad example... but you get the idea.

You have just won one million dollars:

1. Who do you call first?
Felicia.

2. What is the first thing you buy for yourself?
I would go on a shopping spree at every local vynil store in the city and its surrounding area. For you little eenie teenie kiddies... vynil are the big black records.

3. What is the first thing you buy for someone else?
A shopping free for Felicia at every mall in the area (she loves to shop) and the same for Fabianna and Larissa at the baby stores.

4. Do you give any away? If yes, to whom?
Yes, to my immediately family, my grandmother and I would start an center for abused children and elder people (for real, I would... that's my dream).

5. Do you invest any? If so, how?
Of course I would, but since I don't know shit about investing... before I do so I would use some of my money to properly learn about investing.

Well, I really have nothing more to say (as if I ever do). So bye.

At work, we get the freakiest, brain dead motherfuckers in the world! I though Time Warner had the most idiotic caller in the world. But now I realized that those customers were just arrogant and demanding... I mean, shit, they're paying for a service, they want to get it... understandable. But the people who call here are supposed to report their concerns. Now this time, the caller from Entergy was not the problem. She was cool and level headed. But she was reporting a customer who had become gradually threatening and erratic over the phone with the customer service reps. In December of last year, the customer told the csr's that her son's father was Michael Jackson... yes, THE Michael Jackson! and The King of Pop had not been paying child support to her for the past few months so she was not able to pay the amount her power was disconnected for. LOL! As the weeks went by the customer got more and more erratic and her perception of reality became more diluted. By January, the obviously heavily sedated or completely psychologically shattered woman was claiming that she had possession of lethal injections and demanded her power be turned back on. She also told several people today that she was the only female member of Al Qaeda!!!...... ummm.... o..........k............................. [does anyone have a straitjacket handy?!] Anyway, sometimes it amazes me how the human mind can be bent and twisted so out of reality that the mere presence of such individual causes shock and amazement to the rest of us who consider ourselves normal (and please, anyone who starts a whole fucking pseudo-intellectual dispute about what's normal or not will get socked in the fucking mouth! SPARE ME, OK?). I have dealt with my share of looney bin prospects in my days with Time Warner and even a few here with GCS. Maybe I should compile a whole post of the best of the worst human kind has to offer. LOL.

Well, I still have not been able (been able, yeah right buddy... can we say procrastination?) to mail my translator certification application to Raleigh. Tomorrow is the deadline because if they don't get it post dated by the 30th of January they will not let me in the seminar. So, being the loyal wifey that Felicia is and me the gutless parasite I've become with her (ouch! even that one was harsh for me), I asked her to mail the stuff for me because I forgot it on my way out of the door this morning on my way to work. I haven't talked to her since like 4 pm so I don't know if she did or not. I am really exited about this. This is something I really want to do and I hope I get to pass the class and the seminar so I can start translating for my fellow DWI'ers.

For the past two days the Bean has refused to gone to sleep. She is running up and down the living room and fussing until 2 am. She has made me loose my cool on several occasion and I even yelled at her... she looked at me and pouted her little lips and began crying... I almost began crying with her out of desperation and guilt. Being a parent has been the most difficult, psychologically demanding and emotionally draining stage in my life... but curiously, it has also been the most unimaginably rewarding thing I have ever done. mmhhh... go figure.

I was going to write about something else... but someone kept me at work til after nine with some crappy ass confusion and I planned to finish typing my blog when I got home. Well, now I am home... it's 11:22 pm and I forgot... so I guess that's all.

I finally figured out what to do with the empty extra box on the side bar. Every so often I will put some funny, sick, fucked up or interesting picture up there that will either be stolen from Hosstyle, Consumption Junction, Steak and Cheese, Rotten (or any other sick site) or emailed to me by one of my sick, twisted and demented friends... LOL. Which means I will have to link it from their webpage and steal their bandwidth but it will only be for a day or two and that's it... (hopefully I won't get sued or anything.)

So, Today's picture is up... and we just HAD to start with Jacko... here we go.

So Monday night I spent it at the Staybridge Suites courtesy of GCS and Cliff (the owner). The sucky thing was that I was not able to hang out with anyone cuz everyone arrived and went to their rooms and didn't come out again. LOL! The only one that was there for the wrong reasons, other than myself of course, was Dyane and when she got there at midnight she called me immediately. We hung out trying to look for people to hang out and party with but we couldn't find anybody. So, we said screw it and we decided to WALK to the store in the freezing weather and snow to buy some beer and munchies. LOL The shit some people will do to have a good time. So we came back and hung out in Dyane's room til 3 am drinking and talking shit about everyone we knew. LOL.


[Check out my little slip, cool huh?]

After I went to my room, I was tired and just wanted to sleep... but after about an hour of tossing and turning I realized that I couldn't sleep. I missed Felicia and the Bean. I continued tossing and turning looking at the clock every so often.... 4:15 am.... 5:20 am.... 6:45 am.... at around 7:30, which is the last time I remember looking at the clock, I finally began falling asleep and I felt myself falling into unconsciousness... then at 8:30 am or so... Khali calls me and asked if I was going to work with her at 9!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 I was like WTF??? HELL NO!!!!! LOL... so I tried to get back to sleep and about 9:20 am or so my mom calls me... asking if I was going to go to work!!! AT 9 in the fucking morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't go to work until NOON! I told her to call me later.... Again, I tried to go back to sleep... at 9:45 am... Brian, my supervisor, calls me... "Javier, are you up? We really need you to come in cuz about 40% of the people didn't show up and we're getting slammed.." *sob* *sob*

What was I supposed to do... they had bought me food, went to my house to pick me up, paid for my hotel room (which was a really, really, nice suite) and were going to feed me all day again... I told him I'd be there in an hour... so I did. Needless to say, I felt like shit the rest of the day because I got no sleep. I was cranky and not very tolerant of the "my manager didn't say good morning to me today" calls! I know that, in a diplomatically nasty way, told a good 60% of my caller to fuck off. Anyway, I realized that I am very attached to my wife and my baby. Everything for us has happened so fast that we rarely stop and appreciate the fact that we have each other and a family. We're running around all day working, running errands, pleasing other family members, partying, taking care of the baby, shutting our minds when the baby is asleep (which gives us no time to spend time with each other cuz all we can think of is resting until the baby wakes up again), just the daily routine is sucking the life out of us. At the end of the day I am so psychologically ready to crack that coming home to a crying baby is the last thing I want to do... but unfortunately that's my reality right now... my nerves are truly, a hair from being totally shot. I get no psychological rest... I wake up, the baby is crying and fussing, I got to work, I get the most ignorant, mental paraplegic, whinny, over sensitive punks in the entire world (cuz we cover all the world), then I come home and the baby is STILL crying and whinnying... but that part is our fault. We've spoiled her so much she doesn't want to be alone or stay in her crib. She wants constant attention and we just can't do it anymore. But we dug that hole ourselves so now we're paying for it... lol

Last night the baby didn't go to sleep til really late, after 1:30 am... and she kept waking up throughout the night. I lost my temper several times cuz I had been at work almost straight for the past two days. To add insult to injury, Felicia told me the following day, when I wasn't there, Fabianna had gone to sleep at 9 am... arrrgh! I was pissed cuz all I wanted to do was relax after work and sit and get some peace and quiet. But I also noticed the baby only wanted to be with me, I guess because she had not seen me the past two days and really missed me. awww... I love her sooo much. This morning again, as soon as we woke up... she was crying and fussing all day... so I guess this is a permanent thing.

Today is Wednesday so here are the Wednesday Whatevers.

1. Have you ever wondered if it's all really worth it?
Every day of my life and I am still alive so it must all be really worth it.

2. Do "inspiring" quotes really inspire you, or just annoy you?
Annoy the hell out of me... and those stupid lame ass corporate posters... have you seen them? If you are inspired by poster you are an easily lead automaton!

3. Why do you go to school?
During elementary, middle school and high school it was because my parents made me go. Higher Education it was because I was so brainwashed and it was so embedded in my mind that this was the only way to a better life. If they only knew how much I hate my job thanks to higher education... where's my AK47?!?!!?! LOL... just kidding... becuase my thirst for knowledge cannot be sedated of course.

Well, that's all that happened.

Inclement weather... I like it... I know it's something that brings a lot of people suffering, pain, catastrophes and loss of money or revenue. But I like it... I like nature showing me how much a simple breath from her mouth can wipe us into oblivion. I like to see storms, hail, thunder, ice storms, rain, etc, etc, etc.... I like how when it snows, the nights are less dark. It seems like a late afternoon thanks to the street lights bouncing off the sleek white snow. I like how everything smells, cleaner and purer... you breath easy and the streets, cars, trees, building and everything around is covered in the most beautiful, deep, crystalline white.... but, the reason why I love it the most is because, the owner of Global Compliance Services went to pick me up at the house to bring me to work, fed me three meals and is giving me my own reservation to a Ballantyne Hotel to spend the night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SNOOCH TO THE MOTHERFUCKING BOOCH!!!!!!

Dude, this is sooo great... because we have inclement weather the few of us who do come in to work are given everything and anything we want. Corporate America can be kinda cool like that from time to time. This morning I emailed Brian, my supervisor, and asked him if I had to show up. He told me yes and bring a change of clothes. Takesha and Melanie had already told me about the hotel so I knew exactly why he wanted me to bring a change of clothes... LOL... So, I've found a new sense of purchased loyalty to my company and all I have to do now is find a way for them to pay me MORE money! LOL. On the downside I won't get to sleep with Felicia and the bean tonight. Which totally fucking sucks... but on the plus side, I get to work OT and make more money. On the down side, I hate working OT cuz I don't have a high tolerance for the morons who call in here (As I type this, I can hear Brian in the background fighting with some dumb ass hick that called the wrong line and can't get that through his grit eating skull). Anyway, I don't have any cigarettes so the night will suck without cigarettes.. LOL.

That's all.

Well I just realized I forgot to do the Wednesday Whatevers on Wednesday... so, now I will do the WW and the Friday Five together...

Wednesday Whatevers

1. How do you think criminals should be punished?
Depends on the crime... this question is way too broad to answer here. I could go on a tantrum and write a whole essay, but no one would read it anyway.

2. Do you prefer intellectual conversations, or lighter topics? Why?
I prefer intellectual conversations because I actually believe I am smart. I feel like the unappreciated intellectual elite of the world.

3. In what kind of atmosphere do you think best?
Depends... lol. When I want to dwell and ponder in the most illogical, trivial of situations... like, how do they manage to get those peanuts inside those shells... under a think atmosphere of THC. Otherwise, under extreme silence so I can concentrate.

Ok, now for the Friday Five.

At this moment, what is your favorite...

1. ...song?
Are you gonna by my girl by Jet.

2. ...food?
Felicia's baked beans.

3. ...tv show?
The surreal Life... just imagine... Ponch and Ron Jeremy in the same show...HELL YEAH!

4. ...scent?
Fabianna after taking a little bath. (and no, not in a Michael Jackson way, you fucking pervs!)

5. ...quote?
"Hey kid, I'm a computer!"

So, since this is my adopted town and I have lived here since 1999, my whole immediate family has adopted this town as well, I met my wife here and my daughters are Charlatans... or whatever people call themselves here. So I have developed a certain attachment to the city. I still love and miss my Matamoros [this is what I miss about Matamoros] and Brownsville, but Charlotte has a certain quality that those two didn't . I feel comfortable here and it's not a bad town... With that said, I have to give credit where credit is due. And, although Football (and basketball) are about the only two sports I never, ever watch and couldn't care less about... I am very excited to see that the Panthers are going to the Superbowl. I wish they win and Charlotte gains a better sports status than The Hornets or The Checkers...lol.

GO PANTHERS!!!

I wish them the best and if possible I will try to watch the game and root for them like an adopted Charlatan should... heheheh....

One thing I did notice though, now, correct me if I'm wrong cuz I ain't no football fan or anything... but the Panthers against the Patriot for the Superbowl? Sounds kinda dull unless you're from either of those areas doesn't it???? Maybe it's just me....
Ok, we're getting slammed at work today so I gotta go... bye.

So, late news, but still weird... On Wednesday, Takesha sent me an email from her job which simply asked if I had heard about Ryan. Ryan is the guy who got fired from work a few weeks ago and told Brian, the supervisor who fired him, that he was gonna kick his ass... hehe... don't we all wish we had the balls to do that? Anyway, I replied and said no and she told me that he had commited suicide. I was like... WOW! So I asked Craig and Khali if they'd heard anything and they said they heard the same thing. I immediately went online to and to this day I have not been able to find anything on the obituaries or the news. So, maybe it wasn't true and just some dumb rumor... but you never know. Suicide... wow... great topic for jokes and shockvalue humor... but I have never believed in it... or maybe I have always been too much of a pusy to ever really want to. When I was a teenager though I did almost try once... with a knife... it was something dumb and now I can't even remember why I tried to do it. But I am afraid of death so I pussied out... I guess I wasn't the only one... I know of a lot of people who tried in their teens. But now I am glad I never, ever thought of it again... I love life too much now that I have wife and kids to have died at 14... lol.

For the past two to three weeks the mailboxes at our apartment complex have been fucked up. Apparently some hoodlums broke them and we have to broke it just for the hell of it. Not that the fucking things were ever maintained... or the rest of the fucking apartment complex for that matter. This place is really bad, the maintenance is horrible and the place is in deplorable state. We have to go to the office to get out mail and it's been weeks... you'd figure they'd have it fixed by now... but NOOOOOOOOOOO.... apparently that is too much good customer service for this place. I won't complaint though... I want to move out ASAP. I have even though of breaking the lease but we have to go through the lease again to see how much that's gonna cost us. Below you will find a pic of the sorry state our mailboxes have been for the past three weeks.



[the pic is kinda fuzzy cuz I took at night and I had to fix it on my computer]

You can see how bad our place is by all the reviews other people have written about this, and other complexes... but especially ours, they have all bad reviews.... check it out at Apartment Ratings

Now, for my quest of the week... Back in the early 90's, I would say somewhere between 1990 and 1992, I was living in Brownsville, Texas and the dollar store was a concept only known to us through local, cheesy, low quality, chinese owned stores in downtown Brownsville (we referred to the as "Las tiendas de los Chinitos"). Anyway, around that time, the first actual dollar store I had ever seen in my life was established and my mom, being the avid shopper she is, made it a habit to shop there regularly. One time I noticed they were selling casette tapes for $1. As you might expect, the bands were total unknowns and the music wasn't much to write home about. But at that time I was trying to fit in with the cool kids and didn't know any better so I bought a bunch of them. If you ask me now, I couldn't remember any of the tapes I bought... but they were all shit. Well, none except for one... and not the album itself... just one song. The album was called Righteous Heavy Metal... now get this, it was a pure Christian Heavy Metal compilation album... I didn't even know they had Christian metal bands! I knew of Christian rock... but Christian metal??? There's an oxymoron for you. Anyway, as some of you know, I collect music... mostly vinyl and Cd's... I will take tapes but only for certain bands or songs... anyway, for this I will take a fucking 8-track though. I don't know when or where but I lost the tape and suddently over 10 years later.. I MUST HAVE IT! If only for that one song (since I could not even begin to mention any other songs in the album). The song is called Looney Tune by One Bad Pig and it was very short and punkish... it was obviously a cover of the Looney Tunes theme song. I have searched everywhere on the internet and some local music stores and cannot find it. I have emailed the band but they have not responded. So, if anyone out there has any information on how to get the album I would be your bestest best friend forever... a picture of the album cover is below.


[this is the vinyl cover, I had the tape. But any will do.]

Also, notice how the lettering is a direct rip off of the original Headbanger's Ball logo.



But I am willing to overlook this blasphemy becuase I really, really, really want this freaking album! LOL. Again, anyone with any info... should give it to me out of the kindess of their hearts... lol.

I finally finished my application for the court interpretor certification that I will mail tomorrow. The fucking thing was due by January 30 so hopefully they will still have room for me to become certififed. I had to write a little essay explaining my goals in the court system interpretation field and a little about myself... I wish I could have just wrote in big red crayon "CUZ MY FAMILY IS STARVING AND MY CURRENT JOB DOESN'T PAY SHIT!". Anyway, here's what I wrote:

I have resided in a border town that lies between the United States and
Mexico through the majority of my life. I have been exposed and integrated
both languages and cultures since infancy and have now learned to appreciate
and adopt both as my own. I have attended higher education institutions in
both countries and am fully capable to efficiently and accurately interpret
both languages. I have set a goal to become and efficient and reliable tool
for others who do not posses the skills I do providing them with a better
opportunity to champion the obstacles presented to them. I believe
interpreting for the Spanish speaking population in a court of law will
fulfill said goal.

What do you think? If you have any comments email me.

Well, I really hope I can get certified and start making some money with this cuz GSC just isn't cutting it anymore. This is part time and GSC will still be my full time but I really need the money.

Felicia has been feeling pain due to the pregnancy which means she is almost ready to have the baby. I don't think the baby will come out in February 16 like the doctors said. I think the baby will be here much, much earlier than that. I am so excited. I think we have decided to go with Larissa Mariana. Marian is Felicia's middle name so is only fitting. I like it.. .but I also liked Phoebe... she didn't... LOL.

Well, I guess that's it... I will continue drinking my wine and chatting with my friend Nichelle until I get sleepy... Good night/.

Earthlink's pop up blocker is good but somethimes it gets annoying cuz it blocks things that are not pop ups like the spell check. So, I didn't spell check and sorry for the spelling horrors...

Well, I think I have my post back up for the most part. A few tweaks here and there and we should be as good as new. I am not crazy about the new template, but the blue crystal skull one was getting boring. Anyway, I think this will be here for a while unless I screw it up again.

Ok, so HaloScan took over the messaging system that Blogspeak left behind. To tell you the truth, Blogspeak's looked better but, hey... it's free so I can't complaint huh? HaloScan has also asked that we put a link in our blogs if we use their service which I will more than gladly do.

So much has happened since the last time I updated this... But again, since I am lazy I will not try to catch up... A few highlights... I am not going into business with James and Juan because I realized that I have a wife and two kids and cannot afford a "I hope the business works" situation. I cannot afford to go broker than I am now. Instead, I decided to apply and become certified with the NC courts to become an interpreter. In Layman's terms, most of the illegals that get charged with DUI, domestic violence or whatnot do not speak any English or their English is very limited. Not to mention all the official paperwork they have to translate and shit... so that's where I would come in and be hired as an interpreter. They say you can make some mad cash doing that. But we'll see. Dina and James went out on a date last Saturday... LOL... Like Felicia says: I wish I was a fly on the wall that day wherever they were. James says the date went ok... and they talked a lot and blah, blah, blah... When I asked Dina last night, she simply replied "Dude, He's rude!"... LOL. I haven't been able to get more info out of either one of them. Felicia went to the doctor on Monday. The doctor said the February 16th dude date she was given might be wrong. The doc said the baby might come much sooner than that. I am so excited yet scared shitless due to our economic situation. My mom, her mom and Sharmeen (her sister) all tell her they give her the last week of January for the baby to be born cuz "her stomach is too low".... whatever the hell that's supposed to mean, but they've all had several kids of their own so I'm sure they know what they're talking about. At work everything's been fine. I am starting to get annoyed of all the calls and reports but the Triage program (explained below somewhere) is kinda cool.

Lately I've been feeling very depressed and desperate about our economic situation. I am almost 30 and I have a job that I can barely stand. I am afraid of my future and my family's future... I guess I am going through a mid-mid-life crisis. Hopefully I will find another part time (or maybe a better, higher paid full time) job soon so we can compensate for the money we don't get. Well, I guess that is all I will write for right now because it's almost nine and I am on my way to my mom's house to pick up the baby. I will see ya all later.

Well, I am trying to get my blog back up to where it's somewhat the way I want it. Right now I have not done it out of laziness but I will try to finish as soon as possible. I am also doing a page for Ricky's online team and find a part time job... so, this might take a few days. lol

Yesterday, in the span of 10 minutes, a total of 6 employees were fired from the company. The funny thing is that three of the people fired had been with the company several years. Also, another thing I noticed is that not only did they hit the three major ethnic groups and sexual orientation groups that dominate the company (blacks, whites, Hispanics and gays). They also hit the three major departments that form the call center (Quality Assurance, Communication Specialists and Incident Reporting). My only conclusion to this is that they did not want anybody yelling discrimination.

QA's (both of them had been with the company for years)

Sarah (white)

Kendall (gay)
Communications Specialist

Opal (black)

Latressa (black) (had years with the company)

Juan (Hispanic) ("chilango", my buddy!!!)
Incident Reporting

Milton (white)

Nobody is entire sure why they were fired, but obviously a lot of half-assed speculations fly around. I don't want to say much regarding this in my blog cuz Cindy, one of my co-workers told me that someone in the call center did a search of a certain somebody in the company (the search was not about me). But, since I had mentioned that certain somebody in my blog in a non to flattering way in the past... guess who's little ol' blog showed up in the search engine returns? Have I just the greatest luck or what? Cindy told me not to worry about cuz the people who did the search would not sell me out like that but in case someone on that person's side decided to do the search, I'm in big shit... lol. Anyway, obviously we're all scared but... ummm... someone... Scough...Tcough..Ecough.....Vcough.... cough, cough... cough.... talked me today and calmed me down. hehehehehehehehe.....

Also, today Gail, one of the supervisors, put me on the Triage program. Now, the Triage program, how can I put this?..... KICKS FUCKING ASS!!!!. Instead of taking the call and listening to the bullshit petty reports and then typing them and doing all that shit... all I do is greet the caller, ask them if it's a new report or a follow up to their original report... then I transfer the call.... heheh...that's it... OH, it was soooooooo sweet. Unfortunately it only lasted three hours.

[Update on the note system.] Apparently Tino will not take over the message system but HaloScan will. HaloScan was the service I almost used before I decided to go with BlogSpeak cuz it was more user friendly and my HTML skills are very crude. Hopefully the service will as userfriendly with HaloScan.

I asked for the day off tomorrow, no particular reason, just didn't want to come in. The funny thing is that this is the second time me, Serg and Gene have all asked for a Friday off without realizing the other have. So, we're gonna drink a little vino tonight and be merry. I wanna see if Juan and James want to hang out tonight. Me, Juan and James are going out tomorrow to a strip joint to do a little research... lol. (If you don't know what I'm talking about read down two or three posts).

Well, I guess that's all.... bye

by Inter Press Service

The Zapatista National Liberation Army (EZLN) made its first public appearance on Jan. 1, 1994 -- the same day the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) went into effect, linking Mexico, Canada and the United States in a free trade area.
Analysts and critics have pointed to the decline of the group`s charismatic leader, `Subcomandante Marcos`, who apparently no longer controls the insurgent organisation that in the mid to late 1990s staged a number of events that drew wide international attention.

After the peace talks with the government stalled in 1996, the Zapatista demands for autonomy and recognition of the rights of indigenous people -- who form a large part of the population of the impoverished state of Chiapas -- dissolved into silence.

But last August, the EZLN took a new step, and modified the local governing structures that functioned since 1994 in areas under its influence, creating the `Caracoles` -- a new geographic division and form of de facto autonomy in the 33 Chiapas municipalities under Zapatista control.

Thus began a new stage of political struggle for `democracy, freedom and justice` -- goals proclaimed by the EZLN when, in the first minute of 1991, the poorly-armed group declared war on the government of then-president Carlos Salinas (1988-1994).

Although Chiapas is the poorest state in this country of 100 million, it possesses large reserves of oil and gas.

The main lesson provided by the Zapatistas has been one of continuity and survival of a unique movement, said historian Carlos Montemayor, a respected scholar of Mexican armed movements and the author of `War in Paradise`, a novel that narrates the extermination of an earlier insurgent group, headed by rural schoolteacher Lucio Cabaqas, in the 1970s.

The EZLN`s ability to survive helped give a new shape to the national debate, catapulting the question of the marginalisation and dire poverty plaguing a majority of Mexico`s estimated 10 million ethnic Indians onto the national agenda.

The continued existence of the group, which engaged in less than two weeks of fighting with the army in January 1994 before agreeing to an armed truce, also gave a boost to participation by civil society in political and social policy- and decision-making, Montemayor told IPS.

The peace talks that had been going on for a year and a half broke down in September 1996, after Congress modified a draft law on indigenous rights that emerged from the San Andres accords on indigenous rights and culture, signed with the government in February 1996.

The creation of the Caracoles, one of the EZLN`s most ambitious moves, was the group`s peaceful response to the failure to live up to the San Andres accords.

The Caracoles involved the proclamation of autonomy and self-government in 33 Zapatista-controlled municipalities in Chiapas, where the EZLN`s own health and education programmes are being implemented.

The creation of alternative local power structures in the form of `good government councils` arose from the traditions of indigenous communities in Mexico and other Latin American countries, like Ecuador or Colombia.

The councils are a modern-day version of an ancient form of government, said Montemayor.

But some political sectors have interpreted the creation of the Caracoles as a challenge to the government of President Vicente Fox and a mockery of the state of law.

Montemayor noted that International Labour Organisation convention 169, which has been signed and ratified by Mexico, stipulates that the social, cultural, religious and spiritual customs and practices of indigenous peoples must be respected.

That requires the preservation of traditional native institutions that for centuries enabled indigenous communities to conserve their identities and survive in adverse conditions, he said.

In 10 years, the EZLN has gone beyond armed struggle and developed its own forms of self-government, said the writer.

However, there is no sign that peace talks will be resumed with the government in the immediate future, Montemayor added.

After walking out of the peace talks in 1996, the EZLN announced in 1997 that it would not return to the negotiating table until the terms of the San Andres accords were fully met.

After Fox, the first president from outside the Institutional Revolutionary Party in 71 years, took office in December 2000, the parliamentary passage of a modified version of the law on indigenous rights in 2001 became one of the main obstacles to the resumption of peace talks.

Montemayor said the new law did not reflect the spirit of the San Andres accords and only partially incorporated, in a distorted manner, some of the concepts and rights recognised by ILO convention 169.

The law as modified by Congress establishes that it is up to state governments and laws, not federal legislation, to recognise indigenous peoples and communities.

In 1996 and 1997, the EZLN held `anti-neoliberalism` international meetings in the jungles of Chiapas, which were attended by prominent global figures like U.S. filmmaker Oliver Stone. According to analysts, the meetings made the Zapatistas the first organisers of the international anti-globalisation movement.

The pompously named `inter-galactic conferences` were the direct forerunners of the global wave of protests that began in 1999 with the demonstrationsthat stood in the way of success at the World Trade Organisation (WTO) ministerial conference in Seattle, Washington.

Although the military maintains a heavy presence in Zapatista areas, paramilitary groups remain active, and there are continued threats of forcing people out of EZLN strongholds like the Montes Azules biosphere reserve, the insurgents are loudly celebrating the 10th anniversary of their first public appearance.

The festivities began in November, with the launch of a nationwide campaign to explain the EZLN`s thinking and the motives behind the armed uprising.

The group was actually founded more than 20 years ago, in November 1983, by five men and one woman in the heart of the Lacandona jungle in Chiapas.

The central event in the celebrations was the presentation of the book `20 and 10, Fire and the Word`, by Mexican journalist Gloria Muqoz, who describes life in the Zapatista communities and narrates the origins of the movement.

Subcomandante Marcos, who from behind his trademark black face mask seduced much of Mexican society and the international leftist `intelligentsia`, has said he regrets the attention he received, and has taken a low-profile stance and faded into the background.

In fact, he did not even appear in the ceremony for the launch of the Caracoles, and analysts say it is clear that he no longer controls the movement.

But the EZLN`s continued survival has failed to bring about any change in the situation of Mexico`s indigenous people. The difference, according to the leaders of the rebel group, is that they now have hope and dignity.

Official statistics indicate that Chiapas is the state with the third-largest proportion of indigenous people over 15 with no primary school education (39.8 percent), after the northern Chihuahua (40.8) and Guerrero, in the south (45.4).

President Fox, who prior to taking office promised to resolve the conflict in Chiapas in `15 minutes`, is now trying hard to ignore the whole issue, and says that in Chiapas, `there is peace, and everyone is working, fortunately.`

Well, apparently the guy who was running Blogspeak (the messaging service) because his account with his host has been suspended. I think Tino, another blogger, has offered to take the services under his webhost, y105.com. Tino and his friends are planning on bring the service up by this weekend. I usually don't fork out money online for things like this, but this blogger thing has proven to be very therapeutic for me and it has helped me deal with a lot of issues. I think I will offer to help in any way I can to bring that service back and keep the blogger systems alive.

Well, last night I hooked up my friends Dina and James. They just met for the first time last Friday when we all hung out at wild wing. Last night I was talking to James about chicks (hehe, I said chicks, I'm such a man) and I conveniently told him that Dina had been asking about him... hehe. Then Dina was online as well and I told her that James had been asking about her... hehe. After convincing both of them that they've been asking about each other, when they really haven't... Dina told me to give him her number so I did and they talked and they're going out Saturday night... Aren't I such an Eros???? LOL

After work I had to pick up Fabiana from my mom's house. My mom said she wanted to change her before I brought her home. When my mom took off her diaper she had the biggest, nastiest rash I had seen on her since she was born. It was BRIGHT RED!. I felt horrible... she began writhing in pain when my mom started putting this Desitin cream on her little thingy... So we finally got her all ready and I brought her home but she has been suffering from the rash since. We've put Desitin and she keeps crying really loud in pain. Felicia pulled some info off the net (How did parents manage to live without the Internet in past in situation such as these still puzzles me, it's a life saver!) and it told us to go buy some other cream that I can't remember the name cuz she had a yeast infection from the damp diapers. It also told us to buy some white vinegar and soak her wait down in warm water and vinegar. Well, the crappy Bi-Lo didn't have the cream. Then I noticed that on the paper it also said we could use merthiolate but they didn't have that shit either.... So I just got the white vinegar. But when I got here Felicia said she'd calm down and right now they're both asleep. I hate it when the baby is in pain... I can't stand it... it hurts me too much.

I was surfing the internet and I don't know where but I found this picture that I though I just had to post it. Apparently this is a toy that came out in Japan (I have no idea when though) and if you look at the base of the toy you can clearly see who sponsored it! That's the shocking part.



Is this fucked up or what... but apparently some rabbii (in Japan?) raised hell and they pulled. Those Japanese are fucked up man!!! LOL

Oh, and speaking of losers... I saw The Surreal Life. Man, that show is fucked up... Vanilla Ice is still making a fucking fool of himself... he's like a fucking retarded child... but Tammy Ponch and Ron Jeremy (my role model) make the show awesome!

well, I guess that's everything.. and since technically it is Wednesday, I will do the Wednesday Whatevers tonight.

Wednesday Whatevers

1. Given the chance, would you like to live in outer space? Explain.
Yes! But only in a Star Trek like future. Because I like the way how everything is and how most all (interplanetary)races get along. Here, I can't even go to certain neighborhoods without being hassled cuz I'm not white or black or something...


2. Are prenuptials a good idea, or pessimistic?
God! Maybe in certain cases... like if one of the people involved is like ultra rich and the other is a waiter (waitress) as the waffle house then it would probably be not only a good idea, but federal law.


3. What is your favorite type of weather?
Wasn't this question already asked? Anyway, it's winter... I love cold weather... I love the snow and the gray sunless days. I love walking in the cold weather through parks or downtown areas.


Well, that's all for tonight... good night!

Ok, my notes system thingy is gone again. But I visited the BlogSpeak webpage and it seems to be a problem on their end. So, I will ride it out a few days and see what happens. If it doesn't come back I will just change to another system.

Last Friday I didn't get around to the Friday Fives last week and when I visited the site today to do them they had none. So I picked the Friday Fives from September 28, 2001 (old school, huh?) and did those. No reason... just for the fuck of it. Here we go...

1. Laying on your back and facing the ceiling, which side of the bed do you sleep on?
Well, to tell you the truth, I toss and turn all night due to my bad back. Mostly I sleep on my side to avoid the pain. But when the pain gets bad, I usually sleep facing the ceiling.


2. Do you have to have covers (blankets and/or sheets) at all costs, no matter the weather?
YES! I cannot sleep if I don't have covers on. But if I used to sleep with a fan on or my A/C at at least 65 degrees. Felicia can't stand cold weather so now I have to sleep with no covers if no fan or A/C is on.


3. Sleep nekkid or no? Why?
Pretty much the same as above... rarely or after sex (lol) usually boxers or pajamas though. Depends on the temperature.


4. What's under your bed?
LOL! I don't know and for our own sanity I think it's better that way...!


5. If you have pets, do you let them sleep with you? Why or why not?
No, none currently. When I had them I did because I got attached to them. But check out Fabianna's story coming up next.


I don't know why I started with the Friday Five today but oh well. On to my post.

We're having shitloads of financial problems. Mostly due because I'm irresponsible with the money, I don't know how to prioritize my life or manage my expenses. Not to mention that living on GCS's payrate alone is goddamned near impossible. I am in the process of looking into more companies for a part time job. I finally submitted a letter of permission to Cliff, the owner of GCS, to see if I can work for LLE LiNK part time. I had to submit a letter of permission because LLE is our secondary translation service provided, AT&T's Language Line is our primary provided, and if I have to make sure that me working for GCS and LLE simultaneously doesn't create a conflict of interest a conflict of interest. Which, since I am just a mere pawn for both companies, I don't see how it would since I won't be in charge of making any purchasing or corporate decisions for either one. Anyway, I gave to him last week and I've heard nothing back.

Friday night I went out with a bunch of friends, Serg and my mom to the Wild Wing Cafe. We got really plastered and had shitloads of fun. The best part was this band called McFly playing that kicked fucking ass. There's a pic of them at the bottom. They cover all these cool, funcky 80's songs and have a sweet act to follow them with. They are funny and they can really play.



Anyway, at the end my and Serg got into this huge and out of hand argument about ethnicity and race. Him and my mom consider themselves white (because of the color of their skin, not their ethnic background), I know this is a common, and erroneous belief amongst Hispanics/ Latins who don't want to see themselves as what they truly are... a breed of Indian and European. Now, let's get this straight, there are such thing as white, black and Asian Mexicans or Hispanics. Those whom are of direct white, black or Asian blood. For example in Argentina they have a lot of full blooded Germans whose ancestors belonged to the Third Reich and fled to this country as refugees, who only know themselves are Argentinean. But Argentinean is a nationality, not an ethnic group. Even though, by demographic definition they are Hispanic, by true definition they are White (or Anglo or Caucasian or whatever you wanna call them). Same with Japanese in Peru and Portuguese/Black in Brazil and other countries near the Caribbean. But we, me and my family, and most Mexicans are not of direct Spanish/European blood or direct Indian (Aztec) blood. We are a mixed breed, deluded over the centuries, of Indian (Aztec or whatever other pre-Colombian tribe we belong to) and White (Spanish), we are considered (loosely) as Mestizo. Through the centuries, Mexico has become as much a melting pot as the USA with Europeans and Americans mostly but you can see many other cultures intertwined and embedded in ours. That does not make them Hispanic unless they have offspring with a Mexican. Well my brother and my mom and a lot of others believe that they are white because of the color of their skin. They are very lightskinned, blond and tall... they believe they are of the same ethnic background as those of AngloSaxon or Caucasian descent. This was the entire argument last night. My brother said that because Wells Fargo forms (where he works) now include a new ethnic group called "Hispanic/ White" as opposed to the norm in the past that specifically says "Hispanic/ Not white or black" for all those either misguided or "malinchistas". I know they are proud of being Mexican but I also know deep inside, to them the only thing that means a non-white is black. And I also know they would absolutely undoubtedly hate to be considered black. To them there is not grey area, the whole world is either black or white... and they live in the white world. That is just plain sad. It's starting to piss me off again so I will stop.

Ok, on to the baby's story. Fabianna is our first born and she is as spoiled, or more, as you can imagine. Our biggest problem is that we've allowed her to sleep in our bed up until now... she's a little over one now. Last night, because Larissa (or Phoebe, another name we came up with, LOL) is due next month we need for Fabianna to begin sleeping in her room. Last night, at the advise of everybody and their grandmothers we left her alone in her crib no matter how much she cried throughout the night. As you can imagine, she started wailing as soon as we left the room. Me and Felicia went to the room and we could hear her for hours crying and crying inconsolably. At one point she stopped crying and was trying to talk between sobs... that's when my heart sunk to a level it had never done before and I started crying. But I knew I had to let her... Felicia began crying too... She kept on trying to talk, sobbing and crying for the next while. Then silence... for a long time... I think it had been a good 15-20 minutes before we decided to look. We did and we noticed she was still up and just looking at the door with the saddest, which I have not been able to get out of my head since, expression in her little, tear soaked face. Fuck, I was soooo depressed. (shit, I am choking thinking about it now). She fortunately didn't see us so we went back in the room. She was mostly quiet from then on... every now and then she would let out a cry or two... Eventually, I dozed off in a pool of fucking tears near my pillow... Felicia stayed up a little longer, she told me she went and saw her again at one point and saw that the baby had fallen asleep sitting up resting her head all crooked and uncomfortable on the crib bars. She sad she started crying again and felt really sad. She came back to bed and we let her stay. This morning we found her sleeping face down. Later that morning Felicia went back and she was sitting up... we don't know how long she had been sitting up but she was not crying... she was just staring at the door with the same sad expression she had the night before... We have to do it again tonight... I don't think I can... This sucks... I don't want her to be spoiled but I don't want her to be afraid and alone like that... I hate this shit sooo much... Felicia hates it too... we don't know what to do... help....

I can't type anymore... I have to go see my baby now... bye...

Today I received a call from a former employee of a PETsMART who said the hamsters in her store were becoming ill with "wet tail". Once they became ill, the manager would take them to another room and leave them there until they felt better. Bear in mind that the store had a fucking animal hospital INSIDE!! But apparently it's not part of PETsMART and the lady said the manager showed more concern for the departmental budget than the dying hamsters. Well, apparently the manager didn't try to cure them either and would leave the animals in this other room. The lady said that she saw, more than once no less, where the Hamster would start eating each other ALIVE!. That is some sick shit! She said that more than once she would walk in and saw a few half devoured hamsters STILL ALIVE! I am not a pet lover, but shit like that is just plain unacceptable... especially for a fucking company like PETsMART. I was always under the impression that pet store owners were ANIMAL LOVERS! (and I don't mean the kind of animal lovers you'd find here in NC, if you know what I mean... lol).

But, all of this reminded me of the time last year when Eugene had a pet snake and we had to go to some local pet store to buy live mice for the snake to feed. When we got there and saw the caged mice, we also noticed that they were ferociously and frantically trying to eat each other. I mean you could see half eaten mice and mice guts everywhere... it was sick and disturbing. Then the attendant approached us to see what we needed and we told him about the mice and the asshole goes, as if bothered by the comment apparently not only us but many clients had made, "Oh, yeah, I know". Man, I almost cussed his negligent ass out and called animal protection on him. But Gene is pretty morbid and told me not to bother. So, me never giving into peer pressure, didn't call. LOL. Anyway, that's my sick little story of the day.

So, James finally decided to go with my idea and put a Spanish speaker oriented strip joint in Monroe. Which, I might boast, was my idea... LOL, maybe I should boast... now that I think about it, it was... umm.. James' idea... yeah, that perv! lol

Anyway, so we finally are getting some numbers and things in place. I had mentioned it to Felicia a while back and she didn't seem to mind. I reminded her today and she was like, ok. So fortunately I don't have to worry about that or the babies judging me for this until they are old enough. But by then, I hopefully would be way out of it. We plan to put it up and sell it if it works to put another, more ethical and socially acceptable (lol) cantina... without the naked, dancing girls... but again oriented for Spanish speakers. So, we will see what happens. Fortunately we will try to get all of our stuff from Coni, Serg's friend, cuz her boyfriend used to own a Mexican restaurant and she has a lot of equipment we might need.

well, bye

Last night I went to sleep at about 3 am and I think Felicia did at about 2 or so because the bean was acting up and didn't wanna go to sleep. This morning Felicia bursted into the bedroom from the living to tell me it was past 11 am! I jumped off the bed scared shitless... LOL.... I had to be at work at 12! Man, I had never sprinted off the bed and into the shower faster in my life. Then all I had to eat was two eggs and a piece of toast and I am starving already. I only have like $0.40 to my name and I can't even afford a coke. Well, I will see what happens... Maybe I will email Felicia to bring me something... I need to start going to sleep earlier and waking up earlier too. That is one of my new year's resolutions.

When I got home tonight with the baby, Felicia pulled out some of her newborn pics and we also stumbled upon both Fabianna's and Larissa's (name may change, lol) ultrasound pictures. I just had to scan them and post them.


^{(click on the pics for a larger image)}
The one on the left is Fabianna which makes the one on the right Larissa. What do you think? Do you think they're gonna look alike? I hope they do cuz Fabianna is a very pretty little bean and Larissa should be too... LOL.

After work last night me, Juan and James met to discuss "business" and how we're gonna stop working a 9-5. I really don't believe we will be able to pull anything off because we are not businessmen. But, it sure does help to fill ourselves with false hopes and eases the pain of being a corporate automaton for the duration of the conversation. Anyway, we only hung out and talked for a little bit and we only came up with the idea to put up a small "cantina" in Monroe, NC to cater to the low class Mexican and Latin American population there. Not the most illustrious of plans, but hey, at least we came up with something. So now I have to ask Mario, the boyfriend of one of my brother's friends, to see about the liquor license cuz he used to have a restaurant. Skeptical is the only adjective that comes to mind when I think about this, but I am sick of living paycheck to paycheck and not being able to give Felicia and the babies the life they really deserve.

I began drinking and by the time we were leaving I wanted to drink some more so I called Eugene and we went to Bailey's (a local pub). We drank so freaking much it wasn't even funny. We had tequila and whiskey shots and shitload of beer... lol. I was so blitz that Eugene kicked my ass at foosball twice. He sucks at foosball, I always kick his ass at it. But that's how drunk we were. Then when we were sitting at the bar there was this really pretty Asian girl sitting next to us and I told Eugene to talk to her (cuz he's half Korean and she was alone). He didn't want to though cuz he's a pussy so I started talking to her when he got up to go to the bathroom. She was very talkative and friendly. I started asking where she was from (she was Korean by the way) and all and then I told her about Eugene. LOL! He showed up a few minutes later and he finally started talking to her but he didn't even try to get her number... hahahaha... So I tried to get it for him but I guess she wasn't interested cuz she said she lived with her parents. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was funny as hell. Later that night Eugene drove and we got lost somewhere in the Westinghouse area until we finally made it home. It was a weird night.

Today, I arrived at work 4^1/2 hours late because I couldn't shake my hangover until then. I told Brian, my supervisor, that my car broke down and that's why I got here late. Shhhh! It's a secret though, so don't tell anyone. Today at work was as dull as always. I finally spoke to one of the new quiet girls but only to offer help if she needed it cuz Brian has the tendency to give you a sermon every time you ask him something... lol. Not in a bad way though, I mean, his purpose is to help you understand but they can become painfully and mind numbingly long and boring. So, hopefully they will loosen up soon and talk to rest of us since they're both sitting in our row.

I am starving, I can't wait to go out so I can go get me a combo at Wendy's. Here are today's Wednesday Whatevers:

Wednesday Whatevers

1. Do you prefer today's world or would you prefer the more simplistic past?
I think I prefer to live in this day and age. I am addicted to pop culture and fast food. So with that in mind I am heaven with all of today's techonological and pop culture perks.

2. What does Valentine's Day mean to you?
Love, plain and simple.

3. What types of books do you like best?
serial killer biografies.

It's been a while since I last wrote here. Mostly, again, out of laziness... I do not feel like typing everything that has gone through in the past weeks because it will take me hours and trying to remember all that shit will probably give me a headache and stress out the last three neurons I have left. Instead I am just gonna type a few things that I can remember.

New years was kinda dull, we just sat around the house drinking and watching Univision's New Year Special which totally and utterly SUCKED. But then what good is Univision for but providing young teenagers (and Eugene) with a quick, cheap thrill with the cartoonishly big and barely covered chicks they show there. Have you noticed that even the wanna be serious, pseudo reporters from the so called news shows in that channel have big ass tits and do everything in their power to accentuate them???? That channel is a hair from being Playboy... LOL. Connie and her son Tobi showed up and James (from work) showed up for a little bit to bitch and rant about a meeting he had with Steve. Steve told him that he either became a team lead soon or he would be fired. This job is fucked up... lol.

I finally returned to work on Monday after a whole week of being out and it sucks. Things are pretty much the same around here. Takesha is gone and in her place they have this really quiet girl and her sister. They don't talk to anybody yet, I guess cuz they're new. They remind me of those sisters in high school that were most likely mormons and wore really long skirts with shirts up to their chins. Remember those? They didn't talk to anyone but each other and no matter where they went, they always went together... sometimes I wondered if they wiped each other's ass when they went to the bathroom together.... lol, that was mean... Anyway, I call them the GCS's Venus and Serena Williams wannabe's.

I also got a $350 bonus at work...

Today I have to meet with James and Juan (chilango) after work because James has come up with (yet) another "great" idea for us to start a business or someone makes shitloads of money... he's insane like that, every week is something different. I just see it as an excuse to go out and have a few beers since I know we won't do shit. Although, one of the ideas we did agree on (but was my idea after all... lol) is to put a tortilleria (a tortilla factory) in the Charlotte area. there are no real tortillerias here and the Hispanic/Latin population has spread like cancer in this area. I think that would work. Another idea that we had is to put a strip joint... wait, don't laugh yet, that caters mostly to the Mexican, cement plastered, uncombed haired, Miller light drinking, Mexican crowd. But that entitles a lot of balls to do businesses... Marin and Gene don't think it will work... who knows?

I got a haircut, FINALLY, after over two month of my last one. I went to JC Penney's this time. The lady cut it really good, and it was much, much cheaper than Toni & Guy. They only charged me $20 where Toni & Guy charged me $45. I am happy with my new do. I think that is it for today. I will continue with stuff tomorrow.