JESSE "THE BODY" VENTURA AND THE CANADIAN DAY LOTTERY SCAM

I had so much fun fuckin' with Gamma that now I feel the need to see if I actually get one of these fucknuts to do something fun. This guy wins the "Gee, Nice Effort Douchebag" award by simply submitting the following as bait.


from Canada Day Award
reply-to canadadaypromo@gala.net
to
date Sat, Dec 11, 2010 at 12:37 PM
subject Xmas

You have been Awarded 650,000 USD by the Canada Government. Reply this email.


from Javier Mejia
to canadadaypromo@gala.net
date Mon, Dec 13, 2010 at 1:22 PM
subject Re: Xmas
mailed-by gmail.com

Ah! How did you Canadians find my secret email?!?

Well, If it's all for money I guess I might as well try. This isn't really my email address. My real name is Jesse "The Body" Ventura and I am a very famous ex-professional wresting legend, governor of Minnesota and TV host.

Before we proceed I want to make sure that I, Jesse "The Body" Ventura is the actual winner of the Canadian Day Award.

Please confirm.

Regards,
Jesse "The Body" Ventura

If you don't know who Jesse "The Body" Ventura is you should just go hang yourself in shame right now. Oh yeah! Click on the links to see pictures of the "past winners" and take the Canadian Trivia quiz! This guy went out all out! And it only gets better when the parcel delivery company gets involved!!!!!


from Canada Day Award
reply-to canadadaypromo@gala.net
to Javier Mejia
date Mon, Dec 13, 2010 at 2:39 PM
subject CONTACT DPD EXPRESS
signed-by yahoo.com

Dear Winner,

Congratulation to you, the Canadian Government in collaboration with the British government and the World gaming Board have brought to you this great opportunity as a result of the Canadian day held few days back. Power by happy day Canada Website:
www.canadadayquiz.com

We happily inform you that from the Canada day Award 2010 held by Canadian government in London, United Kingdom and Ontario Canada, your email address attach to be Winning Lucky Number: CAUK/2010/00892 of the first set of winners. All email address winner was announce LIVE in CNN and BBC news.

To View Some Of Our Past Lucky Winner Click:

http://img.timeinc.net/TFK/media/news/2006a/060222_lottery_hor.jpg
http://images.usatoday.com/news/_photos/2005/09/23/lottery-winners-inside.jpg

All participants who were selected from the World Wide Web of over 1,000,000 email user. So your email is your online ticket that qualifies you for this draw. You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of 650,000 USD. (Six Hundred and Fifty Thousand Dollars), all you need to do now is contact the DPD Express Courier Company for information on how to claim your prize.

You are to contact DPD Express sending them the bellow information:

Company Name: DPD Express Delivery.
Contact Name: Allen Moore.
Email: deliveryman@dpdexpres.com
dpdexpress@gala.net
Tell: +44-702-407-5909
+44-702-405-7805

PAYMENT VERIFICATION FORM
Full Name:
Address:
Country:
Nationality:
Occupation:
Age:
Tell/Mobile:
Sex:
NOET: Winner is to keep is winning confidential to avoid fraudulent claim.
Contact the DPD Express now by email : deliveryman@dpdexpres.com and call them to let them know that you have sent them email.

Congratulation!!
Sincerely,
Miss. Rose Moore.
Promotion Announcer.


from Javier Mejia
to deliveryman@dpdexpres.com
date Mon, Dec 13, 2010 at 2:55 PM
subject Fwd: CONTACT DPD EXPRESS
mailed-by gmail.com

Good afternoon Mr. Moore,

My name is Jesse "The Body" Ventura and per the email below from Miss. Rose Moore (are you guys related? Is there a nepotism clause for this lottery?) I've apparently won quite a bit of money.

I must say that I am rather impressed by the tiny pictures of previous winners they've attached as proof! If that doesn't convince me of legitimacy, nothing will. But alas, I am convinced and I want this money for the great state of Minnesota.

Here is the OFFICIAL "PAYMENT VERIFICATION FORM" which was crudely added as text to my "verification" email.

Full Name: Jesse "The Body" Ventura
Address: 1938 Sulivan Ln, Metropolis
Country: U.S.A.
Nationality: Kryptonian-American
Occupation: Former Wrestling Legend/Political figure
Age: 59
Tell/Mobile: 919-855-2267
Sex: yes, please

I hope to hear from you soon.
Jesse "The Body" Ventura

Dude, this guy is SLICK! Not only does he use lower case letters and caps only to highlight certain things but he got fancy with the tables and the payment options! This guy is good!

from deliveryman@dpdexpres.com to mejiajav@gmail.com date Mon, Dec 13, 2010 at 3:13 PM subject Read and Make Choice mailed-by gmail.com signed-by gmail.com

INTERNATIONAL DELIVERY DEPARTMENT

ATTN: Jesse "The Body" Ventura,

Welcome to DPD Express UK,

I've just confirmed that you have been officially cleared for payment by the Verifications Dept, at the headquarters of the CANADA DAY AWARD.

All your winning documents which include your certificate and a covering document (Money Laundering protection and Letter of Affidavit for Claims) from the British government, stating that the money was obtained legally through the CanadaGovernment will be sent to you as soon as you meet with any of the option selected.

Jesse "The Body" Ventura, Am pleased to be at your service, with our strong assets base, insurance cover for all deliveries and a Ten year working relationship with theCANADA GOVERNMENT, You are making a classic choice. Getting your Promotion Winnings across to you is very easy; you will however be required to follow our guidelines perfectly.

Firstly, we received your full residential Address for delivery of cheque via courier.

Secondly, you are to make a choice from the Delivery Options layered out to receive your tracking number:

DPD FIVE DAY

Delivery cost	50.00
V.A.T	100.00
Insurance	300.00
Total	$450

DPD TWO DAY

Delivery cost	100.00
V.A.T	250.00
Insurance	300.00
Total	$650

DPD NEXT DAY

Delivery cost	150.00
V.A.T	450.00
Insurance	300.00
Total	$900

You are required to provide us with the requested information immediately, so that you will be giving a tracking number to track your parcel in our website and know when it will get to your door step.

Regards

Mr. Allen Moore

Dispatch Agent

OPENING HOURS Monday - Sunday 24 hours

from Javier Mejia 
to "deliveryman@dpdexpres.com"
date Mon, Dec 13, 2010 at 3:38 PM
subject Re: Read and Make Choice
mailed-by gmail.com

Alright brother!

I pick the DPD Next Day deliver for $900. I want that money now! I was thinking of setting up a brand new wrestling reality show where I can take former and washed up political figures and put them in the ring for a battle royale! Can you imagine!?!? Now that's something people will definitely pay to see. With this money you're sending me I will be able to make that dream a reality.

So, anyway, please let me know when the Canadian Government pays the fees so I can expect my check in the mail.

Thank you,
Jesse "The Body" Ventura



As if the fancy tables and use of links to apparently (if you're over 50 or under 12) legitimate Canadian quiz sites below he starts using color and underline to ensure I get his message across and pay the money!


But even more impressive is the actual working site created to track the parcel below. Give it a shot!! Go to the site and enter the package information he provided. It's all there! I might give this guy my money after all if nothing else for the obvious thought and effort going into this!

from deliveryman@dpdexpres.com to mejiajav@gmail.com date Tue, Dec 14, 2010 at 12:07 AM subject Tracking Number mailed-by gmail.com signed-by gmail.com

ATTN: Jesse "The Body" Ventura,

Your parcel has been registered and packaged for delivery via your preferred option. Our delivery time world wide is between 2pm to 5pm Monday to Sunday.

The Content of your parcel is;

   1. Cheque.

   2. Winning Document.

A tracking number has been issued for your parcel. This number should be used by you to confirm the present status of your delivery 24hrs daily. To access your parcel on our website, click on the link below and use your tracking number 034537450934545 and pin: K94HJH34 to log into our website and check on your present delivery status.

Click on the link below and long in with your tracking number 034537450934545 Pin: K94HJH34 Follow all instructions on the link below;

www.dpdexprex.com/track/acc.php

Presently, your parcel cannot be delivered as reflected on your tracking status on our website.

REASONS:

You have to make the required payment ($900) being charged as the delivery of your parcel so that your Parcel can be delivered to your address. To proceed making this payment, you will have to get back to us via phone or e-mail so we can give you instructions on how to proceed to making the payment so that your parcel can be delivered without any further delays.

Keep your tracking number and delivery information confidential to avoid theft or a third party tracking your parcel.

Your parcel remains valid with this company for three days, and after this validity period if not delivered due to the fact that you have not met with the requirement of this company, we will have to return your parcel to the office that handed it to us for delivery. So you have to act fast and ensure that your parcel is delivered to your address before the validity expires.

Should you have plans to change from you present home, company, office address, keep us informed 24hrs before you move from the present address so we can take note of this and also keep us informed with the new address so that we can update your file with us in this office to avoid delays in delivery.

We await your prompt response on further instructions on how to proceed to making the payment for the delivery fee of your parcel.

Regards

Mr. Allen Moore

Dispatch Agent

OPENING HOURS Monday - Sunday 24 hours

from Javier Mejia
to "deliveryman@dpdexpres.com"
date Tue, Dec 14, 2010 at 8:38 AM
subject Re: Tracking Number
mailed-by gmail.com

Thank you very much for the information you provided but it would seem to me that whomever gave you the parcel should handle the delivery charges. They are the ones who contacted me about winning this money so they are the ones responsible to pay.

Please reach out to the office that handed you the parcel and tell them that they must pay the $900 for delivery. They assured me they would pay for it but you must deal with them directly.

Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat!
Jesse "The Body" Ventura



I kinda got tired of waiting for this douchebag to respond so I am trying to speed things a bit.

from Javier Mejia
to deliveryman@dpdexpres.com
date Wed, Dec 15, 2010 at 2:05 PM
subject Re: CONTACT DPD EXPRESS
mailed-by gmail.com
hide details 2:05 PM (2 minutes ago)
Good afternoon Sirs,

I am still waiting for your response. Did you contact the Canadian Day Lottery official so they can pay the requested fees?

I have contacted my friend Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake as he is an expert in this matters. He told me that he won the Canadian Day Lottery several years ago and the Canadian officials paid all money necessary to collect his check.

Please let me know what is going on.

Thanks,
Jessee "The Body" Ventura


Never heard from them again.

TERMINALLY ILL PETER SIMONS AND UNHOLY MOTHER SUPERIOR FARRAH MOANS

Well, these scammers are fun to mess with!!!! Unlike Gamma this guy figured out pretty quickly I was just fucking with him. Let's observe the Nigerian Scammer in its natural habitat. I am in RED, Scammer is in BLUE and "bank" is in GREEN.


From: Peter Simons
Date: 2010/11/22
Subject: Kindly reply
To:


Dear Beloved,


I am writing this mail to you with heavy tears In my eyes and great sorrow in my heart. My Doctor told me that I will die in three months time, due to the complication of the esophageal cancer I was diagnosed. Base on this development I want to WILL my fortune to you. I am contacting you to assist me, use this Fund to build charity organization. I would want you to keep 20% of the fund to yourself and dispatch the rest to orphanage / charity organizations. I grew up as an Orphan and i dont have anybody/family member to take over of my wealth after my death. The total money in question is $8,000,000-00 Million United States Dollars. I will provide you with other information, once you indicate your willingness to assist me fulfill my wish before my death.


If you are willing to assist me then write me through e-mail: simonpeters@highsociety.org


Best Regards,
Mr. Peter Simons

This time, Mr. Simons had the extreme luck of reaching a reformed nun with an established charity organization. God bless!

from Farrah Moans Jr.
to Peter Simmons
date Tue, Nov 23, 2010 at 2:31 PM
subject Re: Kindly reply


HALLELUJAH!


Praise the Lord for your letter my son! I wept as I read your letter and your unfortunate circumstances. I do believe that our Lord has a reason for everything and strongly believe he struck you with this terrible affliction and the slow and painful demise associated with it for my benefit. I thank the Lord for that!


Your offer came at the most convenient time for me, my son. You see, My name is Mother Superior Farrah Moans and I run a charity for crippled and retarded children here in the Piedmont area of the USA. Our organization is called Center for Learning Impaired 'Tards or C.L.I.T. for short. In essence, C.L.I.T. takes, usually by force, children who are unable to survive amongst the rest of us normal, God-fearing people as a result of severe retardation or physical abnormalities. Sadly, a lot of the children we snatch are a result of either their own or their parents' neglectful and excessive adoration of Jersey Shore.


We are currently going through some financial struggles and only have a few thousand dollars available in our fund. As such, your offer to give us $8,000,000-00 Million will definitely help us out. I know that our good Lord will reward you eternally and will only give you one, instead of 72, virgin but alas, this one virgin will have the ability to restore her virginity every 4-6 hours. Praise Jesus!!!


Please let me know how we can proceed with this transaction as soon as possible.


Blessed be your soul my child,
Mother Farrah Moans
The Rod of God Church
66 Covenant Way Suite 6
Charlotte, NC 28273


P.S. why did you email me with one email address but I had to reply to a different one, my son? It doesn't matter but curiosity, like that hermaphrodite did in college, got the best of me.

Oh yeah! and as per usual, there are pictures involved.

from Peter Simons
to "Farrah Moans Jr."
date Tue, Nov 23, 2010 at 2:52 PM
subject Re: Kindly reply


Dear Mother Farrah Moans,


Thank you for your prompt response. I appreciate your interest to assist me fulfill my desire before my death. However, I would like to be sure of your willingness, trustworthiness and commitment to execute this project on my behalf, I cannot afford to compromise these virtues.


Considering the amount involve, you could set up a trust fund charity organization to enable the contineous supply of funds to selected charites. Such as the motherless baby, the blind, the criple and other
deformity you think could benefit from this scheme.


Meanwhile, it is necessary for me to be sure of the person to whom I will be entrusting this fund to. Please, let me have a brief biography of your person. This will further give me the confident of having you handle this transaction even after my death. Presently, I am critically ill due to the complication of the disease and will be taken to Australia by next week for more adequate treatment.


Furthermore, with regards to the legality of this transaction, I must let you know that this transaction is real, I want to know if you are willing to follow up this project seriously. However, I shall be waiting your response and assurance. Upon receipt of your reply to this mail, I shall forward you the fund deposit certificate and the
contact information of the Bank where the fund is deposited.


I will be waiting for your urgent response with regards to my explanation above. Attached is the copy of my International Passport and picture to prove the legality of this transaction.


Regards,


Mr. Peter Simons


















from Farrah Moans Jr.
to Peter Simmons
date Tue, Nov 23, 2010 at 4:31 PM
subject Re: Kindly reply


Oh Dearest! Forgive me for saying so but you look like something one of our children regurgitated after shock therapy! I did not know you were in such state! I will pray to Saint Thomas of the Guayaba Tree every day for you! My heart aches just seeing that picture.


A biography of me? Well, dear, I hope you're wearing diapers and I don't bore you too much. I was born in 1975 in a small town in the fabled country of Mexico. The town is called Tepezcoloyo and it's located near the northern part of the country. When I left it was nothing more than the crumbling remains of a cathedral, some huts, and a bunch of Coyotes. Anyway, as a young girl, I myself did not believe in God. So my father, who was also my husband, sent me to the regional convent. It was while at the convent, in the midsts of luscious flagellations and sisterly love that my skepticism of God's existence wained instead of doing the opposite which my father/husband wanted.


I then, using my, at the time, very perky assets escaped the convent thanks to the help of one of the eldest sisters who rarely got any from the other young nuns. I fled to India to find Buda. Unfortunately when I got there I realized I went to the wrong place all together to find the wrong person. By the time I returned from India I was following in the steps of Babylon the Great and was fairly proud of my man-hunger. I spent my twenties in Las Vegas where I founded, along with my then-"manager" (that's a euphemism) a charity and halfway house for busty, bleached-haired women of the night with cycloptic children.


After 8 years of this lifestyle my faith in the Lord began to penetrate me again. Over and over. Father Koresh, or Vernon, as I called him late into the night, was insatiable when forcing me to swallow the Lord. After a year in his "joy-chamber" (as he called it) he allowed me to join him in the world and together we co-founded the Church of Unified Necromancers Together (C.U.N.T.) which is the organ used to access the C.L.I.T. which is where I want most of the money you will donate to us to end up; at the C.L.I.T.


I have devoted my adulterer life to Father Koresh, C.U.N.T and C.L.I.T. These are my passions in life along with the children we use as fundraising tools on the streets. These children are my life, my life and my personal property. I would love to tell you more about my children. They are all so special in their own way.


I am not worried about the legality of this transaction as the good Lord has told me to trust you wholly and blindly. Father Koresh also said that in his visions you are a good man with an orange aura like that of the Venerable R. James.


I have also enclosed a picture of myself (and Sister Gohn O. Rhea, one of the newer conscripts) and some of my children during last year's Christmas Party some liberal people threw for us.


As you can see my son, I am real. As real as God and Jesus himself. You can trust me as the Lord has told me that this is the right path for us. I hope to hear back from you soon so we can finish our transaction.


Vaya con Dios,
Mother Farrah Moans

















from Peter Simons
to "Farrah Moans Jr."
date Tue, Nov 23, 2010 at 4:57 PM
subject Re: Kindly reply


Dear Mother Farrah Moans,


Thanks for your mail. I got your contact information through the America Chamber of Commerce in my extensive search for a reliable person to handle this project. My instinct prompt me to contact you. I will be pleased if you will whole heartedly commit your desire to actualize this objective. As I earlier mention to you in my previous message, your benefit for your commitment to this project is 20% of the total fund and after which you will distribute the remaining 80% on charity foundation project as proposed.


I would be glad to see you physically as to know you in person. But, my ill health has totally restricted me from event and activities of life. My poor health precludes me to move around. As a matter of fact,I am presently subjected to a wheel-chair due to the complication of my health.


Below is the contact information of the Bank, where the fund is deposited. Please ensure you contact the Raphaels Bank for the swift remittance of this fund into your nominated account. I have already notify the Bank about my intention of having the fund transferred into your account as to actualize my desire of setting up a charity foundation project. Raphaels Bank presently await to hear from you as to proceed on the transfer to your account.


Below is the contact information of the Bank


Miles Roberts
Chief Executive Officer
Raphaels Bank
Walton Lodge, Walton Street, Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire
United Kingdom
E-mail: remittance@ukaccountant.net
Telephone: +44 70457 29693
Fax: +44 70457 29 642


Please, ensure you are in contact with the Raphaels Bank immediatelyafter going through this message.


I await your swift response.


Regards,
Mr. Peter Simons

"The bank" must have received Mr. Simons request and "swiftly" contacted me to start the transaction. 

from Raphaels Bank

to

date Wed, Nov 24, 2010 at 6:40 PM

subject Attention: Ms. Farrah Moans

Attention: Ms. Farrah Moans,

This is to notify you that we are in receipt of a fund deposition from Mr. Peter Simons. He deposited the fund with our Bank on the 21st of July, 2008. With Certificate number: 46284. The amount He deposited with our Bank was: US$8,000,000.00 Eight Million United States Dollars.

An appointment has been scheduled for you on Thursday 2nd of December, 2010 to come down to our office here in Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire United Kingdom as to finalize all official procedure for the release of the fund to you as the beneficiary.

You are therefore required to fax to this office your flight schedule to enable our protocol officer meet with you at the Airport and bring you straight to our office.

You are also required to come down to our office with the followings:

1. A valid identification proof (i.e. International Passport or Driver license).

2. Copy of the Legal Certificate confirming you as the beneficiary.

We await your immediate response, while we thank you for your patronage as we assure you of our professional assistance always.

You are required to provide us with your contact telephone number and address. Meanwhile, call our office on the below telephone number : +44 70457 29693 immediately after going through this e-message.

Your Faithfully,

Mr. Miles Roberts

Chief Executive Officer

Raphaels Bank

United Kingdom

E-mail: remittance@ukaccountant.net

Telephone: +44 70457 29693

Fax: +44 70457 29 64

"They" actually sent me that email like three times but I forgot to reply to "the bank". I did, however, promptly replied to Mr. Simons.

from Farrah Moans Jr.

to Peter Simons

date Wed, Nov 24, 2010 at 11:08 AM

subject Re: Kindly reply

Dearest in Christ,

Thank you for confiding in me. I know the Lord will see us both through this and allow you die peacefully after the money has been transferred to me. I promise you I will put the money to good use in my charity.

I have contacted the bank and I am currently awaiting their reply. (This is obviously a lie as I'd not replied to his "bank" email yet.

I wanted to ask you, my son, have you found Jesus? And if so, where was he? Most certainly not in India, right?

I ask because we recently snagged a little Indian boy (not the India I went to but the kind of Indian that we keep drunken in reservations today here in the US) named Cocheese who does not believe in our savior! Can you believe it, my son? He has not been touched by our Lord but Father Koresh said he will fix that immediately. Thankfully, Father Koresh has taken Cocheese to his chambers every night since he got here. Father Koresh said he spends all night instilling and penetrating the Lord into little Cocheese. We are hoping he joins the flock soon so we can save his soul.

I have enclosed a picture of Cocheese so you can see some of the kids your extreme gratitude will be helping. I thank God everyday you found me through the American Chamber of Commerce.

Un Chien Andalou,

Mother Farrah Moans

So, two days go by and I've forgotten to reply to the bank so obviously he hasn't heard from me about the bank's response.

from Peter Simons
to "Farrah Moans Jr."
date Fri, Nov 26, 2010 at 7:45 PM
subject Re: Kindly reply


Dear Mother Farrah Moans,


What is happening?? I have not heard from you. Have you contacted the
bank? Please, kindly update me.


Regards,


Mr. Simons




from Farrah Moans Jr.
to Peter Simons
date Mon, Nov 29, 2010 at 5:04 PM
subject Re: Kindly reply


Oh chocolate covered Jesus on a stick!


I am sorry my dearest son. I am not sure what kind of pagan rituals you guys have over there but here in the good ole U. S. of A we have a little something to celebrate mass genocide called Thanksgiving. I have been busy the past four days cooking, eating, begging for forgiveness and thanking our good lord for all the crippled and deformed children he has sent our way. Are you a heathen my son? you should celebrate Thanksgiving like us Americans do and stop insulting the lord with your Pagan practices!!!!!!


Now that I have that out of the way my dearest in Christ I am glad you reached out to to me. The bank wants me to fly over to England so I can claim the money in person. I am perfectly willing to travel to England and make this transaction but as you can understand a poor nuns do not have any material possessions. All our possessions were given to Father Koresh when he cleansed us from all material, earthly sin and were sold so Father Koresh can travel to Thailand and recruit some 10-year old altar boys.


As such, I would like to request that you purchase the plane ticket for me and send me the ticket so I can forward to the bank. Obviously, I will reimburse you when I claim the money from the bank in England. Hey, I have a great idea, we can go out for a pint afterwards. Who knows, if you're a strapping young, ebony lad I might just let you penetrate the Lord unto me.


So. thank you my favorite, blessed, beautiful son for purchasing this ticket for me. I am waiting very anxiously to finish this transaction so we can begin expanding our facilities and give some of the boys the gender reassignment surgery they will need to make us successful.


Blessed are the sick,
Mother Farrah Moans.




from Peter Simons
to "Farrah Moans Jr."
date Mon, Nov 29, 2010 at 5:27 PM
subject Re: Kindly reply


Dear Farrah,


I thank you for the update. I have read and understood the message. Please, try and meet up with their appointment date. However, if you are not able to travel at the schedule date, then I will advice you immediately write to the bank and explain to them you won't be able to come, due to your busy schedule. Plead, with them to have the fund remitted into your account directly via bank to bank transfer. I am sure they will be able to transfer the fund into your account without your present at the bank. Please, keep me posted as soon as you write the bank.


Regards,


Mr. Peter Simons

Here is where I finally replied to the bank pleading with them as Mr. Simons suggested.

from Farrah Moans Jr.

to Raphaels Bank

date Mon, Dec 6, 2010 at 12:57 PM

subject Re: Attention: Ms. Farrah Moans

Good afternoon Mr. Raphael,

I hope the good Lord has blessed you with unmeasurable calamity. Due to my schedule and my duties and responsibilities with both the C.L.I.T. and the C.U.N.T. I will be unable to travel to the UK in person to claim the good fortune our good savior has bestowed upon me.

With that in mind and with my begging experience as both a devout follower of the teachings of Cathol and as Father Koresh's personal servant I am pleading with you to transfer the funds to my organization's bank account. I am pleading with you... please, please, please, please, please, pretty please, please, please, please, please, pretty, pretty please, please, please, please, please, please with sugar and bologna on top can you transfer the funds to the C.U.N.T.'s bank account.

This money is very important to us as we will use to help many, many children from the flock of God in the future. We have some incredible programs for the cripples we usurp from all over the world. For example, take the two 'tards in the picture I've attached. These two precious cherubs are originally from Gastonia, North Carolina and by the names of Lei D. Boi and M.C. Cul de Sac. They were sent to us by the Department of Social Services because their parents, at the tender age of 5 and 9 allowed them to listen to P. Diddy and Pastor Troy. Their severe incapacity, made obvious by the photograph, puts them in the most severely disadvantaged list which requires immediate action on our behalf.

Nocturnal emissions to you,

Mother Farrah Moans

After he suggested that I pay for the trip I got a little defensive.

from Farrah Moans Jr.
to simonpeters@highsociety.org
date Tue, Dec 7, 2010 at 12:58 PM
subject Re: Kindly reply

Whoa, whoa, whoa! there buddy!

If you understood my message why you gonna ask me to pay? F THAT! I need you to pay for this transaction. Now they're asking for $910.00 more and I ain't going out like that.

So, please send me all the funds necessary to complete this transaction since you are rich and I am a poor nun with no money of her own.

C.R.E.A.M. (dollah, dollah bill ya'll)
Mother Farrah Moans

After not hearing back I began going through separation anxiety so I tried reaching back out.

from Farrah Moans Jr.
to Peter Simons
date Wed, Dec 8, 2010 at 12:04 PM
subject Re: Kindly reply

Where mah money at?!

Mother Farrah Moans


No plane ticket from Mr. Simons... dang,