Well, I haven't had time to update my blog in almost a week now (not that anybody cares or anything). Some stuff has perspired since my B-day, some good some bad.... Let's see if I can remember...hehe

On the 25th, the day of my B-day, me and my brother Sergio went to eat at Chili's. Well, he ate, I just drank some beer...I'm not too keen to the Chili's bar atmosphere...lol...anyway, after a while I was like, man, it's my B-day...I want to do something other than sit at a bar at Chili's. So, his solution was to get beer and go drink in the house. So, by 10 pm I was pissed and fed up and went home. So, on my B-day, I went to sleep by 10:30 completely pissed and disappointed. One think that did come of it was that I realized how big of a loser I am. I have no fucking friends!!! Well, my friend Eugene works til midnight...so that's no fun. My two only other friends are female. Dina and Shelly...but Felicia has a field day if I hang out with them. So, that's how my B-day went.

The following day my Mom and little brother came back from Mexico. They brought me a shitty ceramic ornamental sun from Mexico and a bunch of Tamales.
That night we went to Mi Mexico and ate and got really fucked. Then we came home, drank some more and that was that.

On Saturday night me and Felicia went to eat to the Olive Garden and had a really, really nice time! We talked and enjoyed a nice romantic QUIET dinner. HAHA...my mom babysat for us so the bean wasn't there. Then we went home...you don't need to know anything else about Saturday.

Sunday was weird, I will not go into detail but I hurt Felicia really, really, really bad. For something that one, happened a long time ago, two, it's not even true, and three, she only brought the situation up becuase she dug through my personal things. Well, that's all I'm going to say. But I am in deep shit with her and I have to regain her (so to speak).

SHARMEEN ALERT!

Ok, so check out what happened on Sunday afternoon. I told you that Sharmeen is my mom's next door neighbor right? So, on Sunday, me, Felicia and the baby pull up cuz we were visiting my mom. Well, as we pull up, Shirley, their mom was getting out of her van cuz she was giving Sharmeen a ride somewhere. So we all walk together and decide to all stop at her house. So, we walk in and Eric, the human scum, is out in the little back porch area sweeping or something. We all talk to Sharmeen and all is nice. Then she turns around without any previous warning and calls him into the house. She's like, "Eric, my sister is here". I'm like, goddamit! now I have to act nice to this asshole. So he comes in, and she introduces us. I guess Sharmeen was expecting for me to be all cool and shake his hand. I am not about to extend my hand to a lowlife, asshole, negligent parent motherfucking scum like him. I barely even look at him in the eyes. Not in purpose though, I just realize that I can't look at a subhuman hyena like himself in the eye. Anyway, I guess based on my reaction Felicia followed suit and didn't shake his hand either. Although Felicia knows him, just hadn't seen him in years. He just stood there and goofily shook his hand saying "well, duh, hi". He looked on crack, Felicia noticed too. LOL
So Shirley is all like let's go, we gotta go... we all walk outside except for Sharmeen and Eric. Shirley is outside with us waiting for Sharmeen talking. Then Sharmeen comes out and asks if Eric can go with them. Shirley blows up! but finally she agrees. At this point I tell Felicia to stay and chat but I was going in my mom's house with the baby. I go in and I realize I forgot the baby's bag in the car. Here is where it gets fun!
I smoke, not like a pack a day, but I smoke once every few days (sue me!). So, as I was walking out, I noticed my brother's pack of cigarettes on the table. I figured, hell the baby is not with me and I'm going out side. I swipe one to smoke. So I walk outside and light my cancer stick. Then, Felicia is out there all the way back near Shirley's truck again talking to Sharmeen and Shirley. So, I approach them and start talking to them...cigarette in hand. Everybody in her family knows I smoke and drink. Everyone in her family knows that I am not and Adventist. Everybody in her family knows that I love to party and have a good time. So, I'm talking to Shirley and Sharmeen and when we're done me and Felicia turn around and this cockknocker is standing behind me. As soon as we turn around he says, "Why are you smoking like that around Felicia, don't you know she's a 7th day Adventist?"......Felicia turns red with anger...I'm thinking to myself, NO MOTHERFUCKER! I MARRIED SOMEONE WHOM I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEIR RELIGIOUS BELIEFS ARE! I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT MY WIFE YOU IGNORANT PIECE OF SHIT!!!....lol...well, I didn't say any of that...but I surely though of it. Actually, fortunately, I was in a really good mood so all I said was, "well, I'm not." and walked away. Felicia saw that I didn't react or get pissed so she calmed down and walked with me.
Apparently, Shirley and Sharmeen did not overhear his comment but overheard mine and they saw me and Felicia just kinda stood speechless in front of him for a few seconds in disbelief. Shirley is already looking for anything to kick the shit out of this lowlife. She comes out and asks what's going on and Sharmeen does the same. me and Felicia are already kinda far from them so we tell them nothing is going on. We go in my mom's house. Right before we go in I turned back and I saw Eric walking away and into Sharmeens house, he looked angry..haha...Sharmeen following behind.

So, we go in and a few seconds later I tell Felicia to go out and make sure everyone is ok. She goes back and later Sharmeen comes back in and apologizes for Eric. I don't think Sharmeen should apologize for him. Sharmeen didn't do anything. Anyway, I could tell Sharmeen was beyond pissed so I told her it was ok and whatnot. She's completely going off on him saying he had no right to tell me anything and goes on and on about how he should be ashamed of what he did to his children. She said he should not even compare his sorry ass to someone like me who is taking care of his kids and wife (actually, that part really placated my ego..hehe). So again, I told her it's ok. They leave and Felicia comes back later. She tells me that Shirley went off completely on Eric. She unloaded every little piece of rancor and anger he felt for him right on the parking lot of the apartment complex. Eric was trying to say something about he cares for her and Felicia's health through the Adventist faith. Shirley cuts him off and tells him he is nobody to tell him about her own faith and the faith she has followed all her life. Man, she schooled him on Adventist or something like that. So, Sharmeen finally decided to kick him out of the house because he started to mouth of to Shirley and make inappropriate comments to the family. Aawwww...that was sweet, both Shirley and Sharmeen referred to me as part of the family and he should not come and question any family member's actions. So, apparently he's moving out this Friday. Well, I do feel bad that Sharmeen's dream of a normal married life crumbled...for the third time. But I think we are all glad and relieved that he is gone.

So, that was my weekend. I only got presents from Felicia's dad's family. So if anyone out there wants to give me something. Just bring them on. hehe...

I will try to update this more often...for now, good bye.

TODAY IS MY B-DAY!!!! (YAY!) OUT CELEBRATING...WON'T BE BACK FOR A WHILE...HEHEHE

This is not me, just a rendition of what I'm doing tonight!!

Chickenshit Conformist

Punk's not dead,
It just deserves to die
When it becomes another stale cartoon.
A close-minded, self-centered social club;
Ideas don't matter, it's who you know.
If the music's gotten boring
It's because of the people
Who want everyone to sound the same,
Who drive bright people out
Of our so-called scene
'Til all that's left Is just a meaningless fad.
Hardcore formulas are dogshit
Change and caring are what's real.
Is this a state of mind?
Or just another label?
The joy and hope of an alternative
Have become its own cliche,
A hairstyle's not a lifestyle
Imagine Sid Vicious at 35.
Who needs a scene
Scared to love and to feel?
Judging everythng
By loud fast rules appeal
Who played last night?
"I don't know, I forgot.
But diving off the stage Was a lot of fun."

So eager to please,
Peer pressure decrees,
Make the same old mistakes
Again and again,
Chickenshit conformist
Like your parents.

What's ripped us apart even more than drugs
Are the thieves and the goddamn liars.
Flipping people off when they share their stuff
When someone falls are there any friends?
Harder core than thou for a year or two
Then it's time to get a real job.
Others stay home, it's no fun to go out
When the gigs are wrecked by gangs and thugs.
When the thugs form bands, look who gets record deals
From New York metal labels looking to scam.
Who sign the most racist queerbashing bands they can find
To make a buck revving kids up for war .
Walk tall, act small
Only as tough as gang approval.
Unity is bullshit
When it's under someone's fat boot.
Where's the common cause?
Too many factions
Safely sulk in their shells
Agree with us on everything
Or we won't help with anythng.
That kind of attitude
Just makes a split grow wider
Guess who's laughing while the world explodes?
When we're all crybabies
Who fight best among ouselves

That farty old rock and roll attitude's back
"It's competition, man, we wanna break big."
Who needs friends when the money's good
That's right, the '70s are back.
Cock-rock metal's like a bad laxative
It just don't move me, ya know?
The music's OK when there's more ideas than solos
But do we rally need the attitude too?
Shedding thin skin too quickly
As a fan it disappoints me
Same old stupid sexist lyrics
Or is Satan all you can think of?
Crossover is just another word
For lack of ideas.
Maybe what we need
Are more trolls under the bridge
Will the metalheads finally learn something-
Or will the punks throw away their education?
No one's ever the best
Once they believe their own press
"Maturing" don't mean rehashing
Mistakes of the past

The more things change
The more they stay the same.
We can't grow
When we won't criticize ourselves.
The '80s weren't all failure
It's the '90s that stunk.
As the clock ticks we dig the same hole
Music scenes ain't real life,
They won't get rid of the bomb,
Won't eliminate rape
Or bring down the banks.
Any kind of real change
Takes more time and work
Than changing channels on a TV set.

SHARMEEN ALERT!

I'm so fucking sick of Sharmeen and her fucking bullshit!!!!!! Especially now that her fucking asshole lazy ass motherfucker bitch ass boyfriend is back....

She has to ask people at random to pick up her fucking kids from school daily. Normally Shirley, her mom, does it. Today Shirley had a job interview of some sort so she was not able to pick them up....Guess who the fuck was assigned to pick them up???? That's right....Felicia, my wife!!!!

So, today I come to work at 12 pm and at around 2:30 I call her asking her about lunch because we are very low on funds (fucking unexpected bills) and we can't eat out. So Felicia, casually, tells me she fucking forgot to make lunch!!!! And at 2:30 she was already on her fucking way to pick up Taylor....So I'm sitting here hungry as fucking hell already, not to mention that my lunch isn't until 4:30 and she tells me she forgot to make lunch.....What the fuck??!!!!

Then she still has to go pick up Michael at 3:30 so she can't do anything about it. So I'm like fine! I'll figure something out. So 4:30 rolls around and I have no fucking clue what to do.... I'm fucking starving and I have no cash on me. So, I go to my mom's house at 4:30...Traffic isn't bad going into Charlotte so I make it there in like less than 10 minutes. I get there and Fabianna is there, but Felicia is at her grandmother's house with the kids waiting for Sharmeen cuz she also has to bring her ass to her house!!!! I'm like whatever....If she wants to be used and abused by Sharmeen, fine...It's her fucking problem as long as it doesn't bother me.

Well, At 5:15 (I get an hour lunch) I make my way back to work....FUCKING TRAFFIC!!!! I was supposed to be back at work at 5:30...I made it here at 5:52!!! Needless to say I was fucking pissed at Sharmeen for being a fuck up and abusive and shit...and I was pissed at Felicia for "forgetting" that we had no fucking money and not telling me there ain't shit to eat until 2:30!!!!!!!!!! Man, I told her that I didn't care if she let's Sharmeen use her as she pleases as long as it doesn't affect me or the baby. Well fuck this shit!!!! I could have gotten fired today....All because someone doesn't give a fuck and is no considerate to my wife!!! FUCK HER!!!!!! FUCK THIS SHIT!!! I am so sick of it!

Then, almost when I got to work, Felicia calls me on the phone and acts all nonchalant. I go off...She asked me what I was doing and blow up....I'm like I'm on the fucking road still trying to get to work.... She can't understand why I'm pissed. That is soo not cool.... I fucking hung up on her....(sadly and immaturely, that felt good)....anyway, I am at work now and I am pissed, I hope no one comes and gives me shit cuz I will go off on these motherfuckers too....

To top it all off, I was planning to vent out tonight by getting drunk. Then my little brother Ricky is like, you can't drink tonight, you have to take us to the airport at 6 am tomorrow. SHIT! I forgot...with all this shit I forgot my mom and my brother are leaving for Mexico tomorrow...oh well, so much for venting my frustrations with alcohol....So, it has sucked for the past couple of days. A couple of days ago I also got in weird disagreement with my friend Char....that hurt, cuz I didn't do anything wrong and she got mad at me....But I think something else happened on her end which made her feel bad...so whatever it is, I hope she's good.

So, I am sick of being at work, I wanna go home but I can't...I'm stuck here til nine....so, I might still get fucked tonight and see how I deal with the airport trip tomorrow....I'm too pissed to be sober.....I guess that's my bitchin' for today....g'nite ya'll!

Nothing to report.....pissed off! I will post something tomorrow when I am in a better mood. good night!

I found the funniest website that would seem unfunny to anyone who didn't finish middle school...check it out.

I couldn't sleep (after we spoke) last night so I decided to do this thing on my blog for the hell of it...hehe....enjoy! the parenthesis comment is only meant for one person

I stole Char's Quiz

series one--your:
name: Soneji
age: (only the ones who know shall know)
birthdate: 9/25
interests: Art, Literature, Music...especially music, my family, Beer and Punk
time: 1:43 am

series two--describe:

your heritage: Mexicano
your hair: dark brown
your eyes: dark brown
your fears: midgets who smell like cabbage
your perfect pizza: with a scoop of Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia on top
one thing you'd like to achieve: Start another business, one that makes a lot of money.

series three--what is?
your most overused phrase on aim: I hate AOL!
the first feature you notice in the opposite sex: Boobs (I'm not gonna lie)
your best physical feature: my pancreas
your greatest accomplishment: overcoming drug addiction... and reading the entire divine comedy.
your most missed memory: My dad....and real Mexican taquitos.
your favorite article of clothing: my baseball hat collection, yes, ALL OF THEM!
pepsi or coke: Coke I guess
mcdonald's or burger king: Wendy's (the 99 cent value menu kicks ass!)
single or group dates: single
adidas or nike: Van's
lipton ice tea or nestea: either
chocolate or vanilla: Cherry Garcia

series five--do you...
smoke: Only when set on fire....
cuss: Like a fucking sailor
sing well: hell no! singing is for sissies, except for Lenny from Motorhead, he's not a sissy.
take a shower everyday: I chose not to answer that in the grounds that I might self incriminate...my..self......umm, redundant isn't it?
have a crush(es): OH, hells yes, and she knows it too....
think you've been in love: I know I have and currently am.
want to go to college: already did
like high school: yeah, what little I can remember
want to get married: been there done that
type w/ your fingers on the right keys: Always
think you're attractive: Only in the in a dark room

series six--in the past 3 months, did/have you...
drank alcohol: of course
smoked: yes
done a drug: I think I smoked some weed, but it might have been more than 3 months.
eaten an entire box of oreos: No
been on stage: No
been dumped: No
gone skating: No
made homemade cookies: huh?
been in love: Yes!
dyed your hair: nah, too old for that.
stolen anything: I don't think so...I hope not....

series seven--have you ever...
been called a tease: haha...sadly, Yes
gotten beaten up: Oh, hell yes....many times, but I've kicked some serious ass myself.
shoplifted: Yes
changed who you were to fit in: Yes...again, sadly...

series eight--the future
numbers and names of children: 2, Fabianna (who is already here) and Annaugh (NOT MARY).
describe your dream wedding: In the Chapel-O-Love in the Vegas strip.
how do you want to die: I don't want to die!!!!
what country would you most like to visit: Japan

series nine--opposite sex
best eye color: as long as they are not filled with that mucus substance, any.
best hair color: any
short or long hair: LONG!
best height: doesn't matter
best weight: No Laura Flynn Boyle skeletons and no morbidly obese chicks, everything else is kosher with me.
best articles of clothing: matching lingerie
best first date location: Motel 6...oh wait, you mean a date, date? night walk in the park and nice romantic dinner.

series ten--number of...
number of drugs taken illegally: when? recently or all my life????? many, many!!
number of people I could trust with my life: 4
number of cds that I own: over 300 currently plus over 500 vinyl albums
number of piercings: although I don't currently use any, lip, 2 in nose, eyebrow, like 10 on each ear, nipples, webbing of my hands that's it I think.
number of tattoos: 1 and a half.
number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: NONE! Hooray!
number of scars on my body:Christ! too many to count....
number of things in my past that I regret: many.

series eleven--right now
wearing: a Duke Power T-shirt and Hanes boxers...that's it...oh, and socks.
thinking of: Weed, Work, Charlotte and what I'm getting for my B-day
watching: my computer monitor
date: Sep 16
time: 2:01 am

FYI, a lot of the words are links



This month, us Mexicans (hehe), celebrate Independence day on the16th. The whole month is filled with fiestas patrias which means patriotic festivities (or parties). The two biggest ones celebrated on Sep. 15 at midnight known as el grito de la independencia and el dia de la independencia. El Grito is the Mexican fiesta par excellence! On this day Mexicans all over the world celebrate Mexico's independence from Spanish rule.

As you know, indigenous peoples were the first to inhabit what is now known as Mexico. They created great civilizations such as the Olmec, Teotihuacan, Maya, Toltec, and of course the most powerful of all, the Aztec Empire.

After Christopher Columbus "discovered" America, the Spaniards carried out expeditions to find gold and riches from these faraway lands. In 1521, about 500 Spanish soldiers arrived in Mexico, headed by an ambitious man: Hernan Cortez. At this time, the Aztecs had built a great empire that ruled over all Mesoamerica. So the Spaniards decided to direct their attacks towards them.

The indigenous nations that were under the Aztec rule were tired of the physical and economic hardships imposed upon them by this empire. This circumstance made them think that by helping the Conquerors defeat the Aztecs, they would be better off. So they decided to aid the Spaniards.

This is how the Conquest of what is now Mexico began.

On the 13th of August 1521, Cuauhtemoc, the last Aztec emperor was captured. The indigenous allies of the Spaniards raided Tenochtitlan, capital of the Aztec empire.

They didn't know it at the time, but they had been liberated from one oppressor and fallen in the hands of a much more powerful authoritarian.

This was the beginning of three centuries of Spanish rule. The new colony was named Nueva España, New Spain.

The years that followed were devastating. The conquerors brought with them diseases unknown to the natives. The epidemics that broke out as well as the merciless workload imposed upon the natives dramatically diminished the Indian population. There were approximately 20 million Indians inhabiting this territory before the Conquest, and after just one century of Spanish rule there were only 1 million left!

Colonial society was highly stratified. Spaniards born in Spain, occupied the higher echelons, followed by Criollos, those born in Mexico from Spanish parents; Mestizos, the mix- blood offspring of Spaniards and Natives; Indios, Native Indians; Negros, African slaves.

Each socio-ethnic group had different rights and duties. The privileged were the peninsular Spaniards. Discontent steadily grew, especially amongst the Criollos, who were always treated as second-class subjects of the Spanish Crown. It is no surprise then, that Criollos were the spark that ignited the Independence movement.

In 1808, Napoleon invaded Spain, and decided to impose his brother Jose Bonaparte, as king of Spain (1808-1810). The Criollos found in this circumstance the opportunity to seek their independence form Spain.

Influenced by the concepts of liberty, equality and democracy proposed by the French philosophers Rousseau, Montesquieu, Voltaire, and by the war of Independence of the United States, they decided to start a revolt. It was 1810, and their plan was to start the war on the 2nd of October. Unfortunately, their plans were discovered in early September. The movement was in trouble. They had two alternatives; either abandon their plans, or move faster and start the revolt immediately. Fortunately for our country they decided upon the second alternative.

In the early hours of September 16,1810, father Hidalgo, accompanied by several conspirators -Ignacio Allende, Doña Josefa Ortiz de Dominguez, - rang the bell of his little church, calling everyone to fight for liberty. This was the beginning of the Independence War, which lasted 10 years.

Celebrating!

And this is the moment that every 16th of September is re enacted in every plaza or zocalo of Mexico, and commemorated by Mexicans all over the world.

Streets, houses, buildings and cars are decorated everywhere in the country. On every street corner there are vendors selling flags, balloons, sombreros and rehiletes, all with the green, white and red, our National Colors.

This is a rehilete


Flags wave from practically every house and building.

Lighted decorations are set up in every city, the most spectacular being those of the Zocalo, main plaza, in Mexico City. This main plaza of every town and city is the place where the great 16 De Septiembre celebrations take place. People of all ages come to this fiesta, to take part in the collective gaiety!

Food is always a very important part of these festiviLiterarilyrarily hundreds of stands are set up several days before and offer the traditional antojitos, most aptly described as a variety of finger foods, Mexican candies, and punch. Punch. ponche, is a drink made of fruits that are in season: guayabas, sugarcane, raisins and apples, and such a delicious aroma!

During September, Mes de la Patria, the month of our nation as it is called in Mexico, restaurants serve traditional Mexican dishes, such as Mole Poblano, Chiles en Nogada, Guacamole and chips.

During the evening of September 15, people start gathering in the zocalo. Many people walk around dressed in typical Mexican dress: men as Charros and women as China Poblanas, or indigenous dresses. Those who don't own a typical outfit, at least dress find something to wear in the colors of the flag.

Live Mariachi Music bands play to the delight of all present. There are also photography stands where one can have a picture taken, attired with a sombrero and atop a wooden horse!

The euphoria is collective and all are prepared to shout, yell and make as much noise as possible with fake trumpets, noisemakers and whistles!

As the evening advances, the plaza gradually fills with more and more people; suddenly there is practically no room to move. Excitement and euphoria reach a crescendo at the culminating moment when a government official arrives in the zocalo, at 11:00 P.M. to give the grito or cry of Independence. This ritual recreates the moment in which Father Hidalgo, gathered his followers in Dolores Guanajuato.

It is customary for our President to deliver the grito in Mexico City's zocalo. It is in this plaza, atop Palacio Nacional, the National Palace -a beautiful colonial building where the President's offices are located-, that the original bell rung by Hidalgo is placed. And this is the bell that is rung
every 16th of September.

The ceremony reaches the high point when the crowd joins in proudly shouting out the names of the heroes of our Independence, to end with the exciting VIVA MEXICO!

When the grito ceremony ends, the sky lights up with multicolored rockets that shower our hearts with the pride of knowing that we are a free and independent nation.

Here are some pics:



Well, I'm tired, that's all for tonight....

And by the way, if this part of the post is for you (hint hint)....I don't say what I say to be nice or cuz we're friends...I say it becuase I mean it!!!. I really do....

A couple of weeks ago I was (legally) downloading some music (all female Brazilian punk rock to be exact, hehe) and I came across this band called The Bellrays. No, The Bellrays are not Brazilian, they're not all female (except for the singer who is a female), and they're not punk rock. This band takes sounds from MC5, Parliament, James Brown, Miles Davis, the Stooges, 60's R&B, and the Who to create their own very unique style of music. I have not stopped listening to this in two weeks! The lead singer's vocals, Lisa Kekaula, are out of this worlds and the music is as soulful and rockin' as it can get. They call their music "Maximum Rock & Soul" I think the name is perfect for their music. Anyway, check'em out. Their webpage says listening to their music is like getting a kick in the balls by James Brown! And I think it's true...lol (I would not know what the equivalent of that level of pain would be for a woman, so, sorry ladies). Check out crazy water it kicks soooo much ass!

THE BELLRAYS

Me and Felicia are on speaking terms again. We didn't really talk about it or come to an understanding or anything like that. We just sorta let it slide and move away. I know that is probably one of the worst ways to solve a marital dispute. But for the time being, it will have to do. We don't argue that much, usually we're very happy around each other. But sometimes we do have our litle disagreement.

Do you know how she started talking to me? we went to the mall cuz I needed new shoes and my brother Sergio needed to get a hair cut. DUDE! His hair was half way down his back and he cut it all off! But it's good cuz it was starting to look rough. Anyway, when I was at the mall buying shoes she started talking to me cuz she wanted to have a say so in the shoes I picked. Which of course, like any loving intrusive wife, she did. LOL...just kidding. So, that's how we ended up talking and huggin' and kissin' and laughing and just being a happy married couple again.



Hung out with my mom in my two brother in Mi Mexico, a Mexican restaurant we usually hang out in here in Pineville. Me and my brother got fuct (as per usual) and we talked a lot about when we lived in Mexico, old Mexican TV shows and movies, and about my Dad. I had a really good time. Felicia doesn't drink or smoke and the baby is too young to be around cigarette smoke so they didn't come with us. That part sucked, but it was still great.

I woke up at 8:30 am for some reason, now, I have no idea what the hell to do with the rest of my Sunday....

The situation between me and Felicia is still not good. Maybe I should follow my friends advice and swallow my pride again. Cuz even if I don't actually "say I'm sorry" I will be initiating the talk...which means, in her mind, she won....

ANOTHER GOD SUCCUMBS!

The man in black has left us. These are sad times. Words to describe his absence fail me. R.I.P.

The wind slides through birch and pine

Without regard to compass or to time.


Johnny Cash slices into the human mind

Without regard to the white noise of mankind.


Heart to heart, mind to mind in a half tick of time,

The power of The Gift is beyond any Einstein.


E equals MC2 and the world cowers inside a cave.

A whiskey bass assures the world it can be saved.



Downsized, economized, privatized, politicized,

He sings The Truth despite cries that it is unwise.


He's been reading my soul mail for over 40 years

And patrols the streets of joy, grief and secret fears.


Johnny Cash lights the back alleys of my mind

With a power that forever will remain undefined.

This sucks, Felicia got pissed at me for going out and having a few beers last night. I got out of work and had to pick up the baby from my mom's house. I told her that I was gonna stay for a while and have a few beers with my brother and Eugene (my best friend). I stopped and bought two six packs of beer and went to my mom's house. So we drank our beer that ended up being too little so we didn't even get a buzz..hehe...and then we just sat there and talked and talked cuz we hardly ever get to hang out due to our different work and school schedules. So, long store short, I got home at 2:30 am with the baby. Guess who was up waiting for me?

She sits there and accuses me of doing this "all the time". She practically accused me of being a negligent father and a husband. I WAS FUCKING PISSED but I didn't say anything...I apologized over and over. But she kept pushing it....and pushing.... Finally I was like fuck that! I come home from work every fucking day of the week. I leave work at nine pm, go pick up the baby and go back home...every fucking day of the week. AND SHE FUCKING ACUSSED ME OF GOING OUT AND STAYING LATE ALL THE FUCKING TIME??!!!!!!

I asked her when the last time I did it was.... she’s like umm...last week sometime.... but couldn't tell when or anything...cuz it's fucking bullshit! I'm sorry, I'm usually a very laid back person, but someone, especially my fucking wife, accuses me of negligence to her and the baby.... it fucking hurts...it fucking hurts soooo bad.... I have held my breath for her, I would put my hands on fire for her, I would give my life for her.... and this is the shit I get???? Man, I am not the perfect man, by no means, but I am not a negligent father or a husband. I went out ONCE, FUCKING ONCE this week.....and I have hardly even gone out in the past two months cuz I come straight home. And now I am a negligent father and husband... it's not fair.... it's just not fucking fair....

Fuck this!!!!! I don't need this shit....I have bent over backwards to please her every little fucking whim....fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.......................................................................

Check this beer bottle out! I would love to have one of these!!!!!!!

I got my fucking direct deposit today and I realized that they knocked off almost $400 fucking dollars off my paycheck......
$400 FUCKING DOLLARS!!!! JESUS F. CHRIST!!!!
What does the government think???? That I shit money??? That I can just go and borrow money from Uncle Scrooge??? Geez man....$400.....sniff, sniff..................

SHARMEEN ALERT!

Well, remember how I told you guys that Eric, the kids' father was back from outer space? And remember how I told you guys that he, conveniently proposed to Sharmeen even though he was broke, vehicless, jobless and HOMELESS! and she agreed? Well, apparently, he has moved in with her since last week. This dumb.....person, was fucked over twice by this guy, then she took him back and offered her home for him to stay. WHAT KIND OF SHIT IS THAT??!!!!!

So, my moms and my two younger brothers are Sharmeen's next door neighbors. Yesterday my mom asked me who the guy was. Felicia told me not to tell a soul about Eric... so I was like....ummm....I don't know....hehehe....My mom said she's seen him there a bunch of times...NO SHIT! He fucking lives there now!!!

This weekend Shirley saw him twice and saying that she got extremelly pissed is an understatement. Shirley was beyond fucking furious. But apparently Sharmeen doesn't care or blinds herself to what's coming ahead. Sharmeen has still not told anybody except Felicia that she agreed to marry this scum. Man, the shit is gonna hit the fan soon though cuz guess what? Felicia has the extreme pleasure of driving Sharmeen to work and dropping of the kids at school again...oh, and will have the pleasure of doing it tomorrow too... (I will put a fucking stop to that shit soon!!!!). Anyway, Felicia was telling her to be careful and not rush things becuase he just returned out of nowhere and prosposed and he doesn't have a job and blah blah blah...you know, the usual. Sharmeen dropped a mayor than the one droppen in Hiroshima and Nagazaki! Sharmeen told Felicia that they were getting married before the end of THIS month!!


Can you believe that? Well, I have not words to describe what she is doing. I do not have the mental capacity to understand it either. I cannot begin to phatom what the fuck is going inside that fucked up head of hers. I am beyond amazement and shock! I don't know what is going to happen with Sharmeen and her family. But one thing is for sure, that motherfucker is going to turn her world in upheavel again, fucker her over, dump her and ruin what little life she was able to recontruct after his pathetic ass left her, oh so many years ago.....damn, I bet this shit sent the pro women's movement a few decades back huh? Honestly I have nothing more to say, but if it pisses me off, can you imagine how her mother feels. Shirley has neglected her own husband recently (as in not spending enough time with him) to help Sharmeen and bend over backwards to provide her with any help. AND THIS IS HOW SHE FUCKING RE PAYS HER?! Some people do not deserve good parents. Well, that's it on Sharmeen for now I guess....I have to let this shit out cuz otherwise, I will tell Sharmeen a few choice words next time she asks me or Felicia for something (especially if it involved helping that motherfucker in any way, shape or form!!).

So, my birthday is coming up on Sep 25!!!!!

Just in case any of you out there want to get me a little something...hehehe......

Well, I'm done for now....It's early in the day so, we'll see what else happens.

HAPPY, HAPPY...JOY, JOY!!!!
So, my friend is talking to me again and she forgave me!!! I am sooooo happy. I will never make a dumb ass mistake like that again. I was really worried we would not talk again or she would not feel comfortable talking to me. Well, I am happy we're cool again!!!!


Just wanted to let you people know...cuz I'm happy.

Today the company I work for changed insurance carriers cuz we're being sold on August 1. What a drag....all that paperwork sucks and going through everything....At least the new insurance is cheaper. The only thing that sucks is that chiropractic care is not considered part of regular doctor's visits like the other one...so they fuct me over on that one. But, oh well, we'll see what happens. (does anyone even care about this?)

Today was pretty uneventful....mmhhh.....I'm gonna go home and have a couple of beers....Maybe Felicia will have something interesting that happened to her....hehe...

Well, I missed my chiropractic appointment on Monday so I had to reschedule until September 26 (the day after my B-day, hells yeah!!!). But my back is still killing me. I also missed the meeting at work this morning and Heather was non too happy. But apparently Vince and Cecilia, two of my co-workers, missed it too. So the meeting was rescheduled for today at 4 pm. Drag!

Today seems like a really slow day, I will see what happens the rest of the day....

Oh, the baby called me "pa-pa" today!!!! I was soooooo psyched!!! Felicia told me she also says "ma-ma" around her. She' soooo smart....when this freaking thing stops breaking my picture links I will post a pic of her. Anyway, it's almost 2 am...i gotta get some sleep. Night!

SHARMEEN ALERT!

So I come home from lunch during my lunch break today. Felicia made these vegan BBQ ribs with collard greens and string beans with pinto beans and onions…


Anyway, that’s besides the point, halfway through my faux ribs she tells me that Eric, Sharmeen’s kids father, asked her to marry her today. That’s not the bad part. The bad part is that SHE FUCKING SAID YES!!!!!!!! Can you fucking believe that shit??? I mean, this motherfucker impregnated her TWICE! and left her ass twice! Now, he’s back, broke, jobless and doesn’t have a fucking thing to offer her and he proposes marriage???? AND SHE SAYS YES!!! What kind of sadomasochistic shit is that?????

Anyway, Felicia says she’s probably just extremely lonely and desperate for a husband. But, that’s still no reason to take that sack of shit back, right? I mean, she has two other well to do guys that have showed interest in her!!!! Why is she going back to an unemployed ghettos as lowlife?? She has not told their mother, I know that when Shirley finds out, OH! All hell is gonna break loose…..

But hey, she’s my sister in law, if shit happens, I just hope I don’t have to end up busting somebody’s head soon. Fuck, fuck, fuck….I can’t believe some women…can anyone help me understand this????

Anyway, I vented, I feel better….

Oh, Heather, my boss sends me an email today at like 5 pm saying that I have a meeting tomorrow at 8 am. SHIT! My shift doesn’t start till noon. I sure as hell ain’t going. I guess that’ my bitching for today.

So, yesterday I did somethin awful to someone I care about. A little over a year ago I met a girl online. Now, do bear in mind that I've never actually met this person but in the year we've been speaking I have grown to care a lot for her. She's cool and funny and real. And I don't mean real as in she has to act a certain way or say certain things to sound or be cool. She just is. Anyway, I never told her I was married and had a kid. Not becuase I wanted to fuck her or date her. I just found out by experience that if I tell a girl I am married they usually don't want to talk to me. They usually think that all I want to do is try to fuck them and cheat on my wife. Well, that is the reason why I never told her that. Anyway, after a while we were getting along so great and when I spoke with her I had so much fun I didn't want to tell her because I knew that our friendship, or at least the type of friendship we had built up until then would be lost.

So, here's where I REALLY fucked up. After a while I started flirting with her but not in a way where we really meant it. At least that's what I thought. We even, playfuly of course, talked about getting married and having kids. Those were funny conversations we had too...hehe....umm, so anyway.... Yesterday we were talking about it and having a blast. Then I realized she was actually being serious about wanting to get married. Not to me, just findidng someone to get married. Now, this girl is only 20 years old and alreadty is convinced she will never get married due to the few failed frustrated relationships she's had in the past. Anyway, I start telling her she's too young for that and eventually I told her I was married....... fucking idiot...

She tells me how disappointed she is in me and how she is so used to being betrayed. Or course I felt like shit. I tried to explain that my intention was never to fuck or date her. Honestly I never even thought we'd actually met even though we live in the same city. Anyway, it was all futile, she was very disappointed and as you might have guessed, the thing that I tried to avoid happen since the beggining happened. I lost the type of friendship we had, now, we're still friends...but it's never gonna be the same. I've been feeling like a piece of slippery worthless shit since. She was soooo cool to me and all I did was fuckign lie to her.

Then I realized, I have always hurt people....apparently that's what I do best. I don't think I do it in purpose but I do end up hurting people at random. I've alway been good at lying and bending the truth. Since I was a kid, or so my mom tells me. It comes natural, there's very few people in the world I don't lie to. That's Felicia, my wife, My mom and Eugene, my best friend. Although I've hurt them before too.... I remember in college a friend wrote a song called Death Star about me. She had a little local punk band and she saw how I treated people. It took some digging around but I was able to find the copy she gave me. And here it is...Death Star by my good friend Lula, her band was called Circa 2000

I feel like a death star - abused by control -
Grey - without any emotions
Pull me into the right direction - and I will kill you!
I capture a thousand lives
I wait for instructions - I can't wait! I can't wait
Blow me away!

I only destroy to demonstrate my powers
Born to observe the confusion
Your fear is my freedom - and I eat you alive...

My mistakes are too complex for you to understand!
For you to fight...
My mistakes... my mistakes...
I bring the light! I bring the light! I bring the light!
No one survived my shadow - ever!
When I need you - I start protecting you...
My love gives you life
A death star
I am your death star... I am your death star...

And you can't wait to blow me away!
Blow me away!
You can't wait - you can't wait - you can't wait
To blow me away... to blow me away...
A death star...

Cheerie isn't it?? Anyway, the song is actually cool if you like punk. But back to my friend. I realized that I am not the person I was then, cuz then I probably would have tried to fuck her and never told her I was married. But I care now, I really feel like shit. I wish I had never lied to her because I am gonna miss our frienship like fucking hell. Anyway, for whatever is worth.....
I am truly, honestly sorry Char! I did not mean to hurt you

SHARMEEN ALERT!

I should warn you that every time you see the above sign it's a post about my sister-in-law Sharmeen and they will usually be long and bitchy. I love her to death but she is one hell of a case.

So, when someone says, "I do" on the day of their wedding, does it mean, "I will take care of you and our kids for the rest of our lives" or does it mean "I will take care of you, our kids, your freeloading sister and her three unfathered kids as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"??????????

I recently got married to my beautiful wife Felicia. We got married on August 20, 2003. Felicia has a sister named Sharmeen. Now bear in mind that Sharmeen, although 29 and the oldest has the maturity level of a high school girl. Sharmeen has three kids, Taylor the oldest little girl by some guy I have no idea who he is but obviously didn't take care of her. And Michael and Jonathan, their "father's" name is Eric. Now, Eric originally got her pregnant and left...a year later he came back for a second serving and got her pregnant again under the premise that he would marry her. Guess what happened?

Now, Taylor's dad (if you could even call that motherfucker a "dad") is a lost cause. He has openly told Sharmeen he does not recognize Taylor as his daughter. Eric on the other hand is much younger than Sharmeen, Felicia or I. He's like 24 or something. But from what Felicia tells me, he's a fucking immature punk thug ghetto wannabe. I don't know him personally. So, apparently Eric would, from time to time, bring the kids an outfit or a bag of diapers. And I do mean very few times. Then he disappeared for like a year. Sharmeen believes he moved to Atlanta for whatever reason. So this is where we are at until now.

Last night, after I came home from work, Felicia pussyfoots around it for a while and I'm just too physically and psychologically exhausted to try to figure out what she's trying to hint to me. I should tell you that Sharmeen abuses our niceness and everyone else's that allows her too. Sharmeen has no notion of shame or being humble. When we all go out as a family to a restaurant to eat, she will go around the table picking up everyone's left overs to take home! Last weekend we went to a family reunion on their side of the family and they said to the guests to take a plate of food home. Well, Ms. Sharmeen here, took 4 plates overflowing with food and to piss Felicia off, she put them in front of Felicia. Felicia is a very shy and quiet person who hates attracting people's attention. Needless to say, Felicia was pissed at her. Also, Sharmeen has the nerve to ask us for one of our cars cuz one of the guys she's seeing doesn't have a ride and neither does her so apparently it's up to her to find one when they go out. Then she moves everything in the car to fit her little needs. I'll tell you about that later cuz it's getting long here. So anyway, I get home from work and finally Felicia tells me, "Oh, guess what? Sharmeen called." That phrase usually sends shivers down my spine cuz I know it means we are going to have to do something for her.

Felicia tells me that Sharmeen contacted Eric's sister (why? I didn't even bother to ask) and she gave him Eric's number. Sharmeen contacted Eric and he said, playing the role of concerned father of course, he wanted to see the kids but he did not have a car or a job.....surprise, surprise...... So, Sharmeen being the oh, so glorious soul in the planet (or desperate, whatever you decide) offered to find a way for to meet the kids. At this point in the story, I openly told Felicia that Sharmeen is pathetic (I still love her though). Anyway, Felicia told me that Sharmeen said she would ask her mom (another poor abused soul by Sharmeen's immaturity and lack of shame...actually, Shirley, their mom and Johnny, Shirley's husband, are the most abuse of the family) if she could pick her up from work at 6 pm and then drive her and the kids to Eric's house!!! but, if Shirley refused, she asked Felicia if she could take her or borrow our car!!!! I WAS LIKE, FUCK THAT!!!

So, I explained to Felicia that Sharmeen needed to do something about her situation because she was bothering too many people with petty things and neither we nor her mother (and she doesn't bother her father cuz he doesn't really bother with her anymore, it's like on her father's side she doesn't exist to him due to all her fuck ups, although he has several kids with different women and is not married...I guess she is only following what she saw huh?) to be responsible for her mistakes or shortcomings. Felicia stated that she agreed and she was getting sick of catering to all of her need becuase early this week she had to get up at the break of dawn to drop off Michael at the bus stop with Sharmeen, take her to a new apartment development and to work all before 9 am, two days is a row!

Anwyay, Later, Sharmeen called and stated Shirley agreed to take her to Eric's house so me and Felicia rolled our eyes and sighed in relief although we feel bad for Shirley. I really think people should be responsible for their fuck ups and not deliberately abuse the people who nicely and kindly offer to help you. Sharmeen lost all signs of common sense because she is watching her life passing by and all her existence has to be focused on the three kids whom those two assholes didn't take responsibility for. I want to help Sharmeen but I do want to be assured that she understands her and her kids are not my or Felicia's responsibility. There is sooooooo much more to this store but I am getting tired of typing. I will continue when more info develops.

Oh, I was bitching about my back yesterday but Felicia made an appointment with a chiropractor on Monday, so hopefully I will feel better soon. Today is Friday and it is time to get BLITZ!! So I might not write anything till Monday (as if anybody cares)

So, I will post stupid crap here mostly, I will try to learn how to use cool HTML little designs for my blog and make it look important. Although, it won't be.

I know, the first thing I will do is find a cool little singature picture to end all my posts with!!

I will start right now

Well, this is my Blog. Right now I really don't have much to say. Actually, I never have anything to say but I say it anyhow. Here will be information that noone would probably find intersting cuz are things that happen to me in my everyday life and the people around me. I really don't know why I am doing this, maybe I think it would be therapeutical. Right now I am at work and of course it sucks. I work an Ethics and Compliance line (which really all it is is a complaints line for annoying and paranoid workers for over 1000 companies like Home Depot, Target, Belk's and stuff like that). The job is not hard but it is monotonous and you have to type a lot because every call is a freaking two page report you have to type.

Today I feel tired and my back hurts like hell. I have an 9 month old baby girl named Fabianna Olivia whom has a very fuct up sleeping pattern. Not to mention I suffer from insomnia and go to sleep really late anyhow. My back hurts cuz my friend Arturo shoved me with all his force in the back while I was laying up a shot playing basketball... that was over 12 years ago. I guess you can say he really messed me up for life. No hard feelings, I was always better at him at everything, I blame it on his jealousy towards me. hehe...

Well, so much for the "Right now I really don't have much to say" line huh? I will stop here for now but I will keep this thing updated regulary. For whomever read through all this....wow! you have a high tolerance for excruciatingly painful boring ramblings...hahaha.....

Later.