So much has happened since I last updated this. I actually gave up my high school friends search. Mostly because I wasn't succeeding and partly because my focus shifted to my new daughter.
| YES! I AM A FATHER... AGAIN!!!!!!!! |
So, Larissa is finally here, Larissa was born on Saturday February 21, 2004 at 6:03 pm. Felicia had a hard time dilating to the required.... amount? size? whatever... you know what I'm saying. Luckily they gave her a good dose of epidural and she was not in pain during the delivery. Anyway, the doctor said the baby wasn't coming because she had placed herself looking upwards which caused her not to be able to squeeze through naturally. Fortunately everything turned out great and the baby came with no complications. Both my mom and my mother in law were there. My mom, although she had three kids of her own via C-section, had never seen a vaginal birth and bursted in tears when Larissa arrived. Her second granddaughter, you could tell she was very excited. Felicia's mom always cries too, she's very emotional... she didn't cry as much this time as she did when Felicia had Fabianna though.... Soooooo, yeah!... wow... a father again. You know, I look at both of them and I feel.... blessed. I guess that's the only way I can describe it... how can I, a fucked up, lazy, foul mouthed, ex junkie create something so beautiful and perfect in every way? What did I do to deserve a wife like Felicia and such beautiful kids? I don't know but I have never been the type to only ask God why something happens to me when things go wrong. Maybe is due to my lack of faith in christianity and that part still embedded in my mind since I was a little catholic boy that God does everything for a reason. Maybe they're just hang ups I can't change from when my parents taught me to fear and love God at the same time... I don't know... but I thank him/her/it (you choose) for what he/she/it (choose again) has given me.
So, while Felicia was in the hospital I was hanging out with Fabianna all the time. I realize now that Fabianna became very attached to me in those few days and vice versa. her and I sleep in the main bedroom now and Felicia sleeps with Larissa until she's a couple of months old. I don't have that hard of a time putting her to sleep anymore and she likes to cuddle near me. Sometimes I spend that seems like hours staring at her when she's sleeping. Nothing compares to that, it's the most beautiful, unselfish, ethereal feeling I've ever felt. She listens to me more and even, although very seldom, does what I tell he to... LOL. Now, I have returned to work after a week of being out and spending most of my time with my family. It feels a bit strange... I miss them of course. Sad thing is... tonight, I won't come home...
Today we had heavy snow in the Charlotte area. It started early in the morning and it is still coming down hard. Which, to those who read this masterpiece on a regular basis, if you can recall I will be provided a room in the Staybridge Suites by my company so I don't miss work tomorrow and assure I work some OT. That part is kinda cool, they're good suites and the snow is really deep to be driving at night. The party that sucks is that I will not be next to my family. Last time I stayed I was not able to sleep because I missed them soooooooo much. Felicia doesn't want me to stay. But I really need and want the overtime. I feel so bad for not returning home because I know Felicia hates it when I'm not there. But I really want the OT not to mention, after being out for a week due to Larissa's birth, I kinda want to make it up to Brian, my supervisor because he was so cool and understanding about my absence. This time around I'm sharing a duplex-type suite with James. That's kinda cool I guess... he said the suite is equipped with an X-Box... that's even sweeter. So, I'm stuck here til about 10 pm and then off to the hotel. I just realized though, that since I didn't plan to stay before I left the house, I didn't bring any toiletries (hehe... that sounded kinda gayish). My hair is kinda Jedi and I need tons of hair goop to get it to spike.... cuz that's what pseudo cool people do too, spike their hair. No deodorant, toothbrush or anything else... Damn, it's gonna be rough tomorrow! LOL.
Let's see... OH! I downloaded Bearshare which is this cool file sharing software. It's got everything and it's FREE!!!!!! I have downloaded and burnt so much shit. From Before the next teardrop falls by Freddy Fender to Bedtime for Democracy by The Dead Kennedys. Also, James downloaded all of Kill Bill Vol. 1 and Once Upon a Time in Mexico. This site is cool as hell and it has made me into a download junkie thief all over again. I feel like when I was IV'ing Napster and Audiogalaxy... LOL.
Well, I guess that's all for today. I will try to keep up with this again.
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