Well, yesterday I got a verbal writing cuz my dumb ass was slacking off at work. Now, I really was fucking around, I am not even gonna front. I was checking my email during a call, I persuaded a caller not to make a report (not intentionally though, I guess I kinda assume that they want a response immediately and feel this will only delay their process, but then again, it's really not my decision to make... hehe) and at one point I was busy typing a response that I let the caller ramble a little bit. Well, I didn't know I was being monitored mostly because I usually don't act this way. I guess I was just having lazy day and my mind was elsewhere with all the shit that's going on. I was monitored three calls and after the third my supervisor told me to meet him in an office. I knew what it was... LOL! I was like shit... I fucked up! He told me he was very disappointed in me and he never expected to see such behavior. Dude, I felt like shit... I felt so small and ashamed because he had been the one who trained and had been understanding and all through my poor attendance due to Larissa's birth and all. I really felt like shit and I know that he was very disappointed in me.
The good thing is that since then I've been wanting to change the way I do things at work. I am not going to slack off anymore and I will now actually be one of the most active participants in the company. I guess before, when I wasn't married and with babies I really couldn't care less if I was written up or fired. I knew there were hundreds of jobs out there and I was bound to be qualified for at least one of them! This job is probably the best, most relaxed job I've ever had. The only sucky thing is the pay, is kinda low. But anyway, now, after the meeting... I couldn't stop thinking about Felicia, Fabianna and Larissa... I couldn't go back home and explain to them or my moms and brothers that I was fired or written up cuz I got cocky at work and started slacking off. I felt humiliated just thinking about it. I realized that everything is for keeps now... YES! I am 28 and I am just NOW realizing this... SUE ME! I also couldn't stop thinking about how I let my supervisor down and mostly how I had promised myself I would do great at this job when I first started. Well, It's been almost a year and I haven't done jack shit! But that's all gonna change now... I am going for the gold this time... what am I saying? Fuck the gold, I'm going for platinum... hehe.
I also plan to make a lot of changes in my life. I want to stop being so damn lazy and out of shape. I will start eating healthy and working out. I never do it because I lack motivation and grabbing a beer has always been easier than working out. Now, I have to motivate myself to do better. No more staying up late doing nothing or waking up late, again... to do nothing. No more being lazy, no more being disorganized, no more being selfish and feeling sorry for what I don't have. Listen, you fuckers, you screwheads. Here is a man who would not take it anymore. A man who stood up against the scum, the cunts, the dogs, the filth, the shit. Here is a man who stood up....... Oh wait... sorry, carried away there... My alter ego, Travis Bickle took over... hehehe. From now on I will be a very positive, responsible, professional father and husband. I have to do it this time, this time I cannot fail or give up.
First things first, the first step will be to call a doctor and get a physical. I need to start taking my Synthroid again. Dr. Webster, my previous doctor, is too far away from me now so I have to pick another doctor and go through the motions all over again. Then I need to get a chiropractor because I want my back checked out before I start working out. Then I will convince Felicia to join me in my quest for perfection (which in my case is not too far from my current state... hehe). Then I have to find a good work out plan and diet. I also need to start getting my personal life and finances organized. I think I will start by balancing my bank account and arranging an area in the house where it is solely used for transactions, bills, and other important stuff. God, there is sooooo much I need to change in my life. But I know this will be the beginning of it. So, you guys better wish me luck.... and it better be good luck too... hehe.
Felicia has been feeling a little down later because she feels she won't find a job. I feel bad because I can't maker her feel good, smile or anything. Due to work and the babies I am constantly tired and fed up with everything that I neglect her. We hardly ever talk or go out anymore because what little rest and quit time I get from work and the babies I want to spend it resting. Hopefully, this new change that I am envisioning will bring me more energy throughout the day to wake up early and take them out to the park, or the stores or whatever and all of us be much happier.
My brother Serg works for Wells Fargo Home Mortgage. Tomorrow they are throwing some type of Easter egg hunt for the kiddies and him and my moms want to take Fabianna to the egg hunt. Last year, Fabi was too small to go on an Easter egg hunt so hopefully this year she will be able to. Last year my family and I invited Sharmeen (Felicia's sister) and her three kids to a park and we had a bunch of hard boiled eggs and other filled with confetti for the kids. We hid them and they were having a blast finding them and breaking the confetti filled ones on each others' heads. We spent the whole day at the park and it was really nice. This year I want to do something similar since Fabianna is old enough to play with Sharmeen's kids this year. I will talk to them about it and maybe we can do it this weekend.
I guess that is all I have to type for right now. I don't have any plans for tonight but for some strange reason, it doesn't bother me.... hmmmm... maybe this is the beginning of the end of the beginning of some cliche phrase I'm supposed to say to forecast the cataclysmic event I described above. hehehe...
Here are the Friday five.
1. Do you eat breakfast? What did you have today?
Yes, everyday. I had scrambled eggs with sliced up hotdog franks. "Huevos con Win" as we call'em in my countrrrrry.
. What beverages do you usually have in a typical day?
Mostly Coke, we have a sucky vending machine.
3. White bread or wheat bread?
Wheat, but preferably Buttermilk
4. What's your favorite kind (potato/tortilla/corn) and flavor of chip?
A tie between Doritos, the regular kind and Lay's Jalapeno chips
5. How do you plan to spend your weekend?
I have no plans yet. But I want to spend it with my family.
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