FABIANNA'S PARTY

Ok, we really fucked up on Saturday because we spent the first half of the day shopping for things for the party but the second half buying clothes and going to Concord Mills. So Saturday we didn't get to do shit.

On Sunday, my mom started shit at 6:30 am and by the time I woke up at my house around 7:30 am Felicia had already finished her green bean casserole (God knows how long she'd been up). So I head to my mom's to start getting everything ready. From 8 am until 11 am we spent running round town buying more things. Bear in mind, the party started at 1:30 pm. Finally we get home and we start running like crazy trying to get everything done. Finally 1:30 rolled around and we were maybe, at best 3/4 finished. The decorations weren't up, some of the food wasn't ready and the tables and chairs were not arranged.

Fortunately, nobody showed up until a little after 2 pm and the first people were Coni and her clan. Coni, being a friend of the family, helped get most of the stuff ready so by the time the guests started arriving most of the stuff was done. It was fucking hectic though.

So the party got started and the clown arrived just in time. Enough kids were there by the time the clown arrived and they had a ball. From there, everything went smoothly and the party was awesome.

I want to immensely thank Ryan and Jessica for DJ the party for FREE!!. He has an awesome system and the greatest selection of music if you ever need a DJ in the Charlotte area. After all the kids left, Ryan, Jessica, Sharmeen, Felicia, Serg, Ricky and I started getting drunk and dancing until we couldn't dance no mo'. lol. The Bean was dancing like she had never danced before and it was a great way to end the night.

Here are some pictures.


This is where Yippie took a picture with most of the kids

This is Yippie himself in all his ethereal glory

Jess (Ryan's wife), The Bean and Felicia

The Bean trying to break the piñata

Yuppi made and gave Fabi a bracelet made out of a balloon

Fabi with her cake

The bean and my mom next to the piñata

The cake, it was supposed to be all Elmo but when Felicia went to pick it up they made it more like a Xmas cake. The girl said that there was nothing in the order noted regarding an Elmo cake. Felicia fought the girl until at least she gave her the Elmo figurines for free.

You can see the rest of the pictures here.

2004

A survey I found online

What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
Father two girls
Did you keep your new year's resolution and will you make more for next year?
No and no.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
Felicia, my wife and Khali a friend.
Did anyone close to you die?
Not that I can recall.
What countries did you visit?
None
What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004
Financial stability and a better paying job.
What date from 204 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The day Tati was born because it's pretty self explanatory.
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Not getting fired from GCS
What was your biggest failure
Not finding a better job which lead to the second biggest failure which is not providing Felicia and the girls the lifestyle they deserve.
Did you suffer illness or injury?
No, my back is getting worse and for the past month from time to time I've experience this unbearable pain in my right ear... but that's it.
What was the best thing you bought?
CONDOMS!!!!
Whose behavior merited celebration
Surely not my own! My family for helping us through the worse year we’ve had and Felicia for putting up with me.
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed
Felicia’s family on her dad’s side, Dina’s and my own behavior at work and dealing with Felicia and the girls at times.
Where did most of your money go?
I’m still trying to figure that out myself... if you have any clues, let me know.
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Tati’s birth and Fabi’s birthday party (pics coming soon hopefully!)
What song will always remind you of 2004?
Burger King’s Xmas
Compared to this time last year, are you...
· Happier or Sadder?
· Thinner or Fatter?
· Richer or Poorer?
Sadder, Fatter and Poorer...
What do you wish you’d done more of?
Exercise, learn more to manage our finances and spend more quality time with my wife.
What do you wish you’d done less of?
Fuck around at work (and by that I mean not be such a slack and irresponsible).
How will you be spending Christmas?
Like we do every Xmas, Pinky... plotting to take over the world!!!! Actually, at my mom’s house.
How many one-night stands?
NONE!
What was your favorite TV program
I’d say, Viva La Bam, Drawn Together and MythBusters... what can I say, I have a low brow.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
YES!
What was your greatest musical discovery?
None that I can think of... most of the music I find online and I didn’t have access to the Internet for most of the year. Late last year though, just to mention something, I found The Bellrays and Vulgaras. OH, you know what? I am lying... I did discover Manntis by watching Battle for Ozzfest. They kick ass.
What was the best book you read?
The Blood Artists by Chuck Hogan.
What did you want and get?
To keep my job.
What was your film of this year?
I didn’t see any movies that were released this year, but if I had to guess it would probably be Saw and The Grudge (I love horror movies).
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
28 or 29... not sure... I don’t count anymore. I really don’t remember what I did... probably went to eat with my family somewhere.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Financial stability.
How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
Out of touch... I think I’m becoming my dad... when you walk out to your car or when you drive from point A to point B wearing shorts, a white T-shirt, dress socks and dress shoes just because you won’t stop anywhere on the way means you don’t have the right to sit and watch MTV anymore... hehe.
What kept you sane?
The same three things that drove me to the brink of insanity... Felicia, The Bean and Tati.
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Nobody
What political issue stirred you the most?
The beheadings in Irak
Who did you miss
No one.
Who was the best person you met?
Ayiana, Jameka (whom I just met a few days ago at work) and every single Donkey Puncher.
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004
Do not buy frozen food products from the vending machine at your job regardless of how fancy your office is

GOT KIN?

A few days ago (I can't remember exactly when), my mom and I decided that we were going to invite Coni and Patricia to the Bean's party. Coni and Patricia are Serg's friends from when he worked in Cingular Wireless. Well, Coni is married to this guy who has two sisters. We decided we were going to invite them all because they always invite us to their soirees. When my mom was telling me of all the people in their families for a head count I must have been scratching my ass because I don't remember how many it ended up being. When I told Felicia I figured it would be no more than 10 including kids and adults.

Last night, after I got home from work Serg called and asked me if I knew exactly how many people I'd invited just by inviting Patricia and her sisters. I gave him my little estimate and he called me a fucking idiot... Anyway, he told me that all together, not counting Patricia, her husband, teenage daughter and two kids, I'd invited approximately 25 people!!!!! 25 FUCKING MEXICANS!!!! WTF? How the fuck do we reproduce at those rates???? I started freaking out cuz that alone is more than the people me and Felicia invited collectively. My mom gets all pissed at me thinking I am blaming her and it turns into a big mess. So finally I just say fuck it (that's how I usually resolve 99% of the problems in my life) and said we'll just deal with it. The main, and practically only problem will be finding chairs to sit all their asses down. I am hoping Felicia's step dad comes through with tables and chairs from his church otherwise we're fucked.

I am also a bit concerned about the weather. Yahoo says that it's going to be 50 degrees on Sunday. I am hoping it's hotter than that because I want to hold the party in the backyard not inside.

Wednesday Whatevers.
1. Should Christmas be a national holiday and why?
NO! Not everyone, as much as this comes as a shock to some, is a Christian

2. What does punctuation do?
It separates us from them...

3. Why are laws made?
To be broken... Ha! that was SOOO cliche... I'm such a rebel



Well, that's all.

YIPPIE THE CLOWN REPORTING FOR DUTY

Well, today I called Yippie to be at Fabi's party and he agreed to do it for a measly $95. The whole show will last approximately one hour and comes with all types of fun entertainment goodies. Actually, I didn't know clown charged almost $100 for an hour but I guess it seems right for what they do. We have almost everything ready for Fabi's party. The invitations have been sent out and we ended up with more people than we expected. Hopefully everything will turn out ok.

Nothing more to say....

ENGRISH IS DA BOMB! (do cool kids still say "Da Bomb"? Probably not)

We fight you long time..


Taken from Engrish.com

BIG AZ

We, well actually, I decided that the Bean's party will be held on December 19, at 1:30 pm. Me and Felicia had a bit of a struggle because to me this is very important but every time we discussed it we ended up in an argument. I felt, and this is me talking, that she just really wasn't into it. She was more concerned in other things like daycare that we can't afford. So, yesterday I took charge of the relationship (of course fearing to death how she was going to react, lol) and told her that I had set the date and decided to do it as my mom's house.

I found several cool links to get ideas as to what to do (I've only thrown one other kid's party for her when she turned 1 but that was only family member's so I didn't have to do much) to entertain the kids. We've obviously gonna use an Elmo/Sesame Street theme since she's an Elmo junkie. So far, we've kept it rather small cuz we don't defecate dollars... we have about 20 kids and 18 adults. Hopefully everything will turn out for the best.

On Monday, I had the bright idea of buying this scrumptious delicatessen from the vending machine at work because I only had like two $1 bills on me.

To top it all off, I finished with this instant meal monstrosity, that I brought from home.


Now, I've never tasted a buffalo's ass, but if I had to guess what a buffalo's ass tasted like, Pierre Food's Hot N' Ready Item #0991 - Sausage, Egg & Cheese Biscuit would be my first (and only) pick. The mere texture of the fucking thing is nauseating... it's a mixture of a moist, oozing piece of cardboard with a little spice. After the second bite, I began to gag and feel utterly sick... I had drink half of my Coke can just the get the half masticated failed experiment down my throat. The Ramen soup didn't help much either.... but I was able to finish the whole damn thing. Being poor sucks! That ought to teach me a lesson, I shall never buy frozen food from a vending machine again... a slow agonizing death while being raped in the ass is more pleasurable than that thing. Interesting fact, they're proud and sure of their product that they lef their nutritional analisys page for this sandwich BLANK!

But then again, what did I expect from the company who brought us the



BIG AZ BURGER!!!!

I haven't done the Wednesday Whatevers in a while... but since I still get them in my email, here they go.

Wednesday Whatevers

1. Do appearances matter, and why?
Hell yeah, cuz we sum shallow m'fuckahs! bling, bling, holla!

2. What does conformity promote?
being chickenshit

3. Why do fads come in and out?

cuz we don't wanna be like our boring ass, chickenshit conformist parents

ARE YOU... DEFECATING INTO A CANTELOUPE?

Wow, I haven't updated this crap in a long ass time...

Mostly out of lazyness as per usual but also becuase for the past couple of months or so we've been getting slammed at work. Fortunately, things have slowed down and I will get a change to update this more often.

I haven't been able to post more pictures because Serg fucked up his Camedia Master 4.x program and I haven't gotten around to hook up my computer. But hopefully this weekend we will fix the house and get the computer up and running.

The Bean turns 2 on December 5. We're thinking of either throwing her a party at Chuck E. Cheese's or at the cabana in our apartment complex. So far we've got like 25 people coming so the Chuck E. Cheese's thing might not be economically smart... we'll see. We want to do a whole Sesame Street theme focusing on none other than that furry red bathmat, Elmo. We were not prepared for the party (actually with all the shit going on right now it kinda snuck up on us) because we had to take Felicia's car for repair a couple of weeks ago and it sent us back about $450. Then the day after we got it from the shop, the back driver tire fell of its rim and that costed us another $68. They told us that all four wheels need to be repaired but we have not money for all that.

Speaking of no money, I was pulled over a week and a half ago for driving with a suspended license, expired tags, expired registration and not inspecting my car for over a year. Ok, so let's disect this.. My license was suspended because I didn't pay my car's property tax last year (property tax for a fucking car? GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK MONEY HUNGRY MOTHERFUCKING HICKS!). I didn't pay it becuase I defecate money and I don't like wasting it on trivial things like vehicle property taxes (sarcarsm, in case you were gonna start bitching). The inspection was not done because last year they came up with this nifty little law that says if your car has the "Check Engine" light on and it's due to the emissiong thingy (whatever the fuck is called) then it won't pass. My car has the thingy on... Serg told me he was charged over $800 to fix that thing. I don't have $800 to waste on my 1996 Nissan 200SX.. shit, the fucking car is not worth $800! And the tag and registrations are expired cuz I can't renew it because they still want their so deserving vehicle tax property money... isn't NC state swell?

I haven't been able to get my ID yet so I haven't really been able to go out anywhere... life as it stands today, sucks ass!

I am a bit upset and disappointed at Felicia and the part that hurts the most is that she either is completely body language illiterate and doesn't know or doesn't wanna deal with it and has said or done nothing to repair it. She knows exactly what happend and why I have been acting the way I have the past few day and nothing. OH but wait, I'm sure she will wait until enough time has passed to say that was a long time ago and turn the tables and be pissed at me making me feel like shit for acting upset... women are so fucking unmercifully conniving!

Ok, that's all I'm typing tonight cuz it's 8:30 pm and I have 30 minutes to finish my last two reports of the day.

Bye.

P.S. No spell check today, so deal with it.