FATHERHOOD Pt. 2 & CHIVALRY IS NOT DEAD

Well, last night on my way home a coworker called me and told me a group of them would meet at a local Mexican restaurant for a couple of beers. Felicia didn't have a problem with me going so I stopped by. I got home around 9 pm and the girls were still up. When they saw me they jumped all over and we started playing and kissing and hugging. It feels so awesome. But the two previous nights were still haunting me. I didn't know how I was going to take it if the same happened that same night. I mean, it was already 9 pm, 30 minutes past their bedtime. Felicia was in the middle of reading them a book. Fabianna's Pre-K requires we read to her two books every day. We encourage Larissa to participate in that as well. So, we all sat down and finished our two books and baked pizza, etc. Then it was time for bed. Thankfully last night went really, really smooth. All four of us came in the room, I sat next to Fabi's bed and Felicia next to Larissa. We held their hands and Felicia sang until they went to sleep. It took all 10-15 minutes. I still don't know if that's the right thing to do though. I thought you were supposed to ensure they went to sleep on their own.

I don't wanna make this a habit. Yesterday when I went home during lunch Larissa was watching Caillou. As odd as this may seem that show is actually very insightful for parents. They have taught me a thing or two about how to handle the girls under certain circumstances. Well, in this particular episode, as in by some spooky, ironic coincidence, the show was about Caillou being scared shitless to sleep in his own room. Throughout the episode he made his parents get up from bod no less than 10 times. Yet, his parents were, although towards the end a bit visibly upset, caring and understand. I was so ashamed. After I left the house and on my drive to work I kept thinking why couldn't I be more like those parents. It made me think a lot and I only concluded that I am a selfish person. I've always been but I am also trying to work at it. I put my desire to wind down and relax after work in front of my own child's fears and insecurities. I can't allow that to happen ever again. I think things should be ok from now on. Even if they have a hard time going to sleep. I think Caillou's parents just taught me a good lesson.

Oh... here's another weird thing. There's this girl in my organization who is in a wheel chair. I don't know her that well despite that we worked in the same department for like a year a while back. When we talk is just about work when I need something from her department. Well, every now and then I bump in the hear either in a hallway or out in the parking lot. Trust me, with me, chivalry is NOT dead. I am very chivalrous opening doors, pulling chairs, yielding entrance, etc. But with her sometimes it feels weird. I don't want her to think that I pity her or that I think she's incapable of opening a door. But sometimes it feels awkward.

As if that wasn't enough, a lot of times I bump into her while she's getting out of her car in the handicap area. That's when it's REALLY uncomfortable. Like, I see her in the driver's seat pulling her fold-out wheel chair, open it, slide over, close the car door and make her way to the building. I don't know if I should like offer to help or if that would be waaaaay too weird. You know? It's like, it's in my nature to try to help but I also don't want to offend her by giving the impression that I don't think she's capable of doing things on her own. This happened again this morning so I thought I'd bring it up.