From: Peter Simons
Date: 2010/11/22
Subject: Kindly reply
To:
Dear Beloved,
I am writing this mail to you with heavy tears In my eyes and great sorrow in my heart. My Doctor told me that I will die in three months time, due to the complication of the esophageal cancer I was diagnosed. Base on this development I want to WILL my fortune to you. I am contacting you to assist me, use this Fund to build charity organization. I would want you to keep 20% of the fund to yourself and dispatch the rest to orphanage / charity organizations. I grew up as an Orphan and i dont have anybody/family member to take over of my wealth after my death. The total money in question is $8,000,000-00 Million United States Dollars. I will provide you with other information, once you indicate your willingness to assist me fulfill my wish before my death.
If you are willing to assist me then write me through e-mail: simonpeters@highsociety.org
Best Regards,
Mr. Peter Simons
This time, Mr. Simons had the extreme luck of reaching a reformed nun with an established charity organization. God bless!
from Farrah Moans Jr.
to Peter Simmons
date Tue, Nov 23, 2010 at 2:31 PM
subject Re: Kindly reply
HALLELUJAH!
Praise the Lord for your letter my son! I wept as I read your letter and your unfortunate circumstances. I do believe that our Lord has a reason for everything and strongly believe he struck you with this terrible affliction and the slow and painful demise associated with it for my benefit. I thank the Lord for that!
Your offer came at the most convenient time for me, my son. You see, My name is Mother Superior Farrah Moans and I run a charity for crippled and retarded children here in the Piedmont area of the USA. Our organization is called Center for Learning Impaired 'Tards or C.L.I.T. for short. In essence, C.L.I.T. takes, usually by force, children who are unable to survive amongst the rest of us normal, God-fearing people as a result of severe retardation or physical abnormalities. Sadly, a lot of the children we snatch are a result of either their own or their parents' neglectful and excessive adoration of Jersey Shore.
We are currently going through some financial struggles and only have a few thousand dollars available in our fund. As such, your offer to give us $8,000,000-00 Million will definitely help us out. I know that our good Lord will reward you eternally and will only give you one, instead of 72, virgin but alas, this one virgin will have the ability to restore her virginity every 4-6 hours. Praise Jesus!!!
Please let me know how we can proceed with this transaction as soon as possible.
Blessed be your soul my child,
Mother Farrah Moans
The Rod of God Church
66 Covenant Way Suite 6
Charlotte, NC 28273
P.S. why did you email me with one email address but I had to reply to a different one, my son? It doesn't matter but curiosity, like that hermaphrodite did in college, got the best of me.
Oh yeah! and as per usual, there are pictures involved.
from Peter Simons
to "Farrah Moans Jr."
date Tue, Nov 23, 2010 at 2:52 PM
subject Re: Kindly reply
Dear Mother Farrah Moans,
Thank you for your prompt response. I appreciate your interest to assist me fulfill my desire before my death. However, I would like to be sure of your willingness, trustworthiness and commitment to execute this project on my behalf, I cannot afford to compromise these virtues.
Considering the amount involve, you could set up a trust fund charity organization to enable the contineous supply of funds to selected charites. Such as the motherless baby, the blind, the criple and other
deformity you think could benefit from this scheme.
Meanwhile, it is necessary for me to be sure of the person to whom I will be entrusting this fund to. Please, let me have a brief biography of your person. This will further give me the confident of having you handle this transaction even after my death. Presently, I am critically ill due to the complication of the disease and will be taken to Australia by next week for more adequate treatment.
Furthermore, with regards to the legality of this transaction, I must let you know that this transaction is real, I want to know if you are willing to follow up this project seriously. However, I shall be waiting your response and assurance. Upon receipt of your reply to this mail, I shall forward you the fund deposit certificate and the
contact information of the Bank where the fund is deposited.
I will be waiting for your urgent response with regards to my explanation above. Attached is the copy of my International Passport and picture to prove the legality of this transaction.
Regards,
Mr. Peter Simons
from Farrah Moans Jr.
to Peter Simmons
date Tue, Nov 23, 2010 at 4:31 PM
subject Re: Kindly reply
Oh Dearest! Forgive me for saying so but you look like something one of our children regurgitated after shock therapy! I did not know you were in such state! I will pray to Saint Thomas of the Guayaba Tree every day for you! My heart aches just seeing that picture.
A biography of me? Well, dear, I hope you're wearing diapers and I don't bore you too much. I was born in 1975 in a small town in the fabled country of Mexico. The town is called Tepezcoloyo and it's located near the northern part of the country. When I left it was nothing more than the crumbling remains of a cathedral, some huts, and a bunch of Coyotes. Anyway, as a young girl, I myself did not believe in God. So my father, who was also my husband, sent me to the regional convent. It was while at the convent, in the midsts of luscious flagellations and sisterly love that my skepticism of God's existence wained instead of doing the opposite which my father/husband wanted.
I then, using my, at the time, very perky assets escaped the convent thanks to the help of one of the eldest sisters who rarely got any from the other young nuns. I fled to India to find Buda. Unfortunately when I got there I realized I went to the wrong place all together to find the wrong person. By the time I returned from India I was following in the steps of Babylon the Great and was fairly proud of my man-hunger. I spent my twenties in Las Vegas where I founded, along with my then-"manager" (that's a euphemism) a charity and halfway house for busty, bleached-haired women of the night with cycloptic children.
After 8 years of this lifestyle my faith in the Lord began to penetrate me again. Over and over. Father Koresh, or Vernon, as I called him late into the night, was insatiable when forcing me to swallow the Lord. After a year in his "joy-chamber" (as he called it) he allowed me to join him in the world and together we co-founded the Church of Unified Necromancers Together (C.U.N.T.) which is the organ used to access the C.L.I.T. which is where I want most of the money you will donate to us to end up; at the C.L.I.T.
I have devoted my adulterer life to Father Koresh, C.U.N.T and C.L.I.T. These are my passions in life along with the children we use as fundraising tools on the streets. These children are my life, my life and my personal property. I would love to tell you more about my children. They are all so special in their own way.
I am not worried about the legality of this transaction as the good Lord has told me to trust you wholly and blindly. Father Koresh also said that in his visions you are a good man with an orange aura like that of the Venerable R. James.
I have also enclosed a picture of myself (and Sister Gohn O. Rhea, one of the newer conscripts) and some of my children during last year's Christmas Party some liberal people threw for us.
As you can see my son, I am real. As real as God and Jesus himself. You can trust me as the Lord has told me that this is the right path for us. I hope to hear back from you soon so we can finish our transaction.
Vaya con Dios,
Mother Farrah Moans
from Peter Simons
to "Farrah Moans Jr."
date Tue, Nov 23, 2010 at 4:57 PM
subject Re: Kindly reply
Dear Mother Farrah Moans,
Thanks for your mail. I got your contact information through the America Chamber of Commerce in my extensive search for a reliable person to handle this project. My instinct prompt me to contact you. I will be pleased if you will whole heartedly commit your desire to actualize this objective. As I earlier mention to you in my previous message, your benefit for your commitment to this project is 20% of the total fund and after which you will distribute the remaining 80% on charity foundation project as proposed.
I would be glad to see you physically as to know you in person. But, my ill health has totally restricted me from event and activities of life. My poor health precludes me to move around. As a matter of fact,I am presently subjected to a wheel-chair due to the complication of my health.
Below is the contact information of the Bank, where the fund is deposited. Please ensure you contact the Raphaels Bank for the swift remittance of this fund into your nominated account. I have already notify the Bank about my intention of having the fund transferred into your account as to actualize my desire of setting up a charity foundation project. Raphaels Bank presently await to hear from you as to proceed on the transfer to your account.
Below is the contact information of the Bank
Miles Roberts
Chief Executive Officer
Raphaels Bank
Walton Lodge, Walton Street, Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire
United Kingdom
E-mail: remittance@ukaccountant.net
Telephone: +44 70457 29693
Fax: +44 70457 29 642
Please, ensure you are in contact with the Raphaels Bank immediatelyafter going through this message.
I await your swift response.
Regards,
Mr. Peter Simons
"The bank" must have received Mr. Simons request and "swiftly" contacted me to start the transaction.
from Raphaels Bank
to
date Wed, Nov 24, 2010 at 6:40 PM
subject Attention: Ms. Farrah Moans
Attention: Ms. Farrah Moans,
This is to notify you that we are in receipt of a fund deposition from Mr. Peter Simons. He deposited the fund with our Bank on the 21st of July, 2008. With Certificate number: 46284. The amount He deposited with our Bank was: US$8,000,000.00 Eight Million United States Dollars.
An appointment has been scheduled for you on Thursday 2nd of December, 2010 to come down to our office here in Aylesbury, Buckinghamshire United Kingdom as to finalize all official procedure for the release of the fund to you as the beneficiary.
You are therefore required to fax to this office your flight schedule to enable our protocol officer meet with you at the Airport and bring you straight to our office.
You are also required to come down to our office with the followings:
1. A valid identification proof (i.e. International Passport or Driver license).
2. Copy of the Legal Certificate confirming you as the beneficiary.
We await your immediate response, while we thank you for your patronage as we assure you of our professional assistance always.
You are required to provide us with your contact telephone number and address. Meanwhile, call our office on the below telephone number : +44 70457 29693 immediately after going through this e-message.
Your Faithfully,
Mr. Miles Roberts
Chief Executive Officer
Raphaels Bank
United Kingdom
E-mail: remittance@ukaccountant.net
Telephone: +44 70457 29693
Fax: +44 70457 29 64
"They" actually sent me that email like three times but I forgot to reply to "the bank". I did, however, promptly replied to Mr. Simons.
from Farrah Moans Jr.
to Peter Simons
date Wed, Nov 24, 2010 at 11:08 AM
subject Re: Kindly reply
Dearest in Christ,
Thank you for confiding in me. I know the Lord will see us both through this and allow you die peacefully after the money has been transferred to me. I promise you I will put the money to good use in my charity.
I have contacted the bank and I am currently awaiting their reply. (This is obviously a lie as I'd not replied to his "bank" email yet.
I wanted to ask you, my son, have you found Jesus? And if so, where was he? Most certainly not in India, right?
I ask because we recently snagged a little Indian boy (not the India I went to but the kind of Indian that we keep drunken in reservations today here in the US) named Cocheese who does not believe in our savior! Can you believe it, my son? He has not been touched by our Lord but Father Koresh said he will fix that immediately. Thankfully, Father Koresh has taken Cocheese to his chambers every night since he got here. Father Koresh said he spends all night instilling and penetrating the Lord into little Cocheese. We are hoping he joins the flock soon so we can save his soul.
I have enclosed a picture of Cocheese so you can see some of the kids your extreme gratitude will be helping. I thank God everyday you found me through the American Chamber of Commerce.
Un Chien Andalou,
Mother Farrah Moans
So, two days go by and I've forgotten to reply to the bank so obviously he hasn't heard from me about the bank's response.
from Peter Simons
to "Farrah Moans Jr."
date Fri, Nov 26, 2010 at 7:45 PM
subject Re: Kindly reply
Dear Mother Farrah Moans,
What is happening?? I have not heard from you. Have you contacted the
bank? Please, kindly update me.
Regards,
Mr. Simons
from Farrah Moans Jr.
to Peter Simons
date Mon, Nov 29, 2010 at 5:04 PM
subject Re: Kindly reply
Oh chocolate covered Jesus on a stick!
I am sorry my dearest son. I am not sure what kind of pagan rituals you guys have over there but here in the good ole U. S. of A we have a little something to celebrate mass genocide called Thanksgiving. I have been busy the past four days cooking, eating, begging for forgiveness and thanking our good lord for all the crippled and deformed children he has sent our way. Are you a heathen my son? you should celebrate Thanksgiving like us Americans do and stop insulting the lord with your Pagan practices!!!!!!
Now that I have that out of the way my dearest in Christ I am glad you reached out to to me. The bank wants me to fly over to England so I can claim the money in person. I am perfectly willing to travel to England and make this transaction but as you can understand a poor nuns do not have any material possessions. All our possessions were given to Father Koresh when he cleansed us from all material, earthly sin and were sold so Father Koresh can travel to Thailand and recruit some 10-year old altar boys.
As such, I would like to request that you purchase the plane ticket for me and send me the ticket so I can forward to the bank. Obviously, I will reimburse you when I claim the money from the bank in England. Hey, I have a great idea, we can go out for a pint afterwards. Who knows, if you're a strapping young, ebony lad I might just let you penetrate the Lord unto me.
So. thank you my favorite, blessed, beautiful son for purchasing this ticket for me. I am waiting very anxiously to finish this transaction so we can begin expanding our facilities and give some of the boys the gender reassignment surgery they will need to make us successful.
Blessed are the sick,
Mother Farrah Moans.
from Peter Simons
to "Farrah Moans Jr."
date Mon, Nov 29, 2010 at 5:27 PM
subject Re: Kindly reply
Dear Farrah,
I thank you for the update. I have read and understood the message. Please, try and meet up with their appointment date. However, if you are not able to travel at the schedule date, then I will advice you immediately write to the bank and explain to them you won't be able to come, due to your busy schedule. Plead, with them to have the fund remitted into your account directly via bank to bank transfer. I am sure they will be able to transfer the fund into your account without your present at the bank. Please, keep me posted as soon as you write the bank.
Regards,
Mr. Peter Simons
Here is where I finally replied to the bank pleading with them as Mr. Simons suggested.
from Farrah Moans Jr.
to Raphaels Bank
date Mon, Dec 6, 2010 at 12:57 PM
subject Re: Attention: Ms. Farrah Moans
Good afternoon Mr. Raphael,
I hope the good Lord has blessed you with unmeasurable calamity. Due to my schedule and my duties and responsibilities with both the C.L.I.T. and the C.U.N.T. I will be unable to travel to the UK in person to claim the good fortune our good savior has bestowed upon me.
With that in mind and with my begging experience as both a devout follower of the teachings of Cathol and as Father Koresh's personal servant I am pleading with you to transfer the funds to my organization's bank account. I am pleading with you... please, please, please, please, please, pretty please, please, please, please, please, pretty, pretty please, please, please, please, please, please with sugar and bologna on top can you transfer the funds to the C.U.N.T.'s bank account.
This money is very important to us as we will use to help many, many children from the flock of God in the future. We have some incredible programs for the cripples we usurp from all over the world. For example, take the two 'tards in the picture I've attached. These two precious cherubs are originally from Gastonia, North Carolina and by the names of Lei D. Boi and M.C. Cul de Sac. They were sent to us by the Department of Social Services because their parents, at the tender age of 5 and 9 allowed them to listen to P. Diddy and Pastor Troy. Their severe incapacity, made obvious by the photograph, puts them in the most severely disadvantaged list which requires immediate action on our behalf.
Nocturnal emissions to you,
Mother Farrah Moans
After he suggested that I pay for the trip I got a little defensive.
from Farrah Moans Jr.
to simonpeters@highsociety.org
date Tue, Dec 7, 2010 at 12:58 PM
subject Re: Kindly reply
Whoa, whoa, whoa! there buddy!
If you understood my message why you gonna ask me to pay? F THAT! I need you to pay for this transaction. Now they're asking for $910.00 more and I ain't going out like that.
So, please send me all the funds necessary to complete this transaction since you are rich and I am a poor nun with no money of her own.
C.R.E.A.M. (dollah, dollah bill ya'll)
Mother Farrah Moans
After not hearing back I began going through separation anxiety so I tried reaching back out.
from Farrah Moans Jr.
to Peter Simons
date Wed, Dec 8, 2010 at 12:04 PM
subject Re: Kindly reply
Where mah money at?!
Mother Farrah Moans
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